An old Indian lined up all of his ten sons and stood in front of them. He then asked, "Who push port-a-potty over cliff?" Nobody answered him. He then asked again, "Who push port-a-potty over cliff?" And again nobody answered. The old Indian said, "I tell story of Georgie and Georgie father. Georgie chop down cherry tree. Georgie tell truth, Big Georgie no punish. Little Indian tell truth, I no punish." So the Indian asked again, "Who push port-a-potty over cliff?" The littlest Indian replied, "I push port-a-potty over cliff. " The old Indian then shakes him, spanks him, does everything he can to punish him. When he is done, the little Indian asks, "Georgie tell truth, Georgie no get

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years old. Butterflies taste with there feet. Cats have over 100 vocal cords. Dogs have about 10. February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon. In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

There once was a captain of a ship, and every day at a certain time he would lock himself up in his cabin and look inside a mysterious black box. He did this every day, but he told nobody what was inside the box. Then one day he died, and in his testament he gave the crew permission to open the box. So they opened the black box, and what they found was a piece of paper: "Starboard is right, port is left."

# 1 In February 1878, the first telephone book was published in New Haven, Connecticut. The book was one page long and had fifty names in it. # 2 For more than 3,000 years, Carpenter ants have been used to close wounds in India, Asia and South America. # 3 In 2001, the five most valuable brand names in order were Coca-Cola, Microsoft, IBM, GE, and Nokia. # 4 The Sears Tower in Chicago contains enough steel to build 50,000 automobiles. # 5 Ninety-nine percent of pumpkins sold in the United States are for the sole purpose of decoration. # 6 The Arctic Tern, which is a small bird, can fly a round trip from the Arctic to the Antarctic and back. This can be as long as twenty thousand miles per

I was at my friends house and we were bragging about how little we can eat. My friend J.B sister said some times I don't eat all day. I asked her, "oh you fast?" Then she says, "No, I'm actually pretty slow." Then her mom told her fasting is not eating for a long time. That is why breakfast is called breakfast, to break your fast and eat. Then his sister goes, "How do you know?" I busted a gut so bad. She should have been a blond.

What bird can't fly as high as you can jump? A bird in a cage.

A student said to Professor Stigler: "Professor Stigler, I don't believe I deserve this F you've given me." To which Stigler replied, "I agree, but unfortunately it is the lowest grade the University will allow me to award."

If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit? Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them? Can you make a candle out of your earwax? When French people swear do they say pardon my English? Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first? If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later? Can a fire truck park in the fire lane? Can it be cloudy and foggy at the same time? "Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute? Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time? Are marbles made of marble? Why does the last piece of ice always

Good friends are the ones who will bail you out of jail. But... TRUE friends are the ones who wil be sitting next to you in prison and say, "You know, we sure messed up there, buddy!"

Everyone on a passenger ship could see a bearded man on a small island, shouting and desperately waving his hands. "Who is that man?" a passenger asked the ship's captain. "Why is he so upset?" "I have no idea," the Captain replied, "but, every year when we pass by here, he goes crazy."

Supermarket A new supermarket opened near my house. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain. When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and experience the scent of fresh hay. When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying. The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn. Though I do have to say... I don't buy my toilet paper there.

Two kids were sitting at a lunch table. One was quite a joke-teller, so he started telling a joke he had heard. "There are three types of people in this world," he said, "those who can count and those who can't." The other kid said, "But what about the other type of person?" "There is no other type!" the first kid said, "that was the joke!" "No! You said it wrong! You didn't say what the third type was!" "That was the joke! TWO TYPES of people in this world! Those who can count, AND THOSE WHO CANT!" "But you didn't say what the third type was!" So, after many hours, the second boy FINALLY understood the joke.