Dozen^2 = Gross.

Can you complete this sentence using two words which are anagrams of each other? Whilst driving his car at a reckless speed, the driver was distracted by his dog _______. Luckily, he managed to complete the _______ manoeuvre without crashing. Whilst driving his car at a reckless speed, the driver was distracted by his dog barking. Luckily, he managed to complete the braking manoeuvre without crashing.

This is the conversation from "That 70s Show" when Fez first "does it." Note: If you have never seen the show, these are, you guessed it, teenagers. Fez: Knock-knock. Kelso: Who's there? Fez: I did it! *Everyone claps* Kelso: Wait, wait, I wanna hear this. I did it who? Eric: Wait a minute...this isn't like the time you bought a hamster, named it Virginity, and lost it? Fez: No, this is the real thing. Kelso: You know, I had a hamster once. I tied him up to a helium balloon with a note, made it all the way to Minnesota. Eric: Alive? Kelso: No, I'm going to send a dead hamster up in a balloon. Eric: So, come on, tell us all about it. Fez: Well, it was incredible. Nina and I started off kissi

A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology and mixed emotions when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, that's a bunch of crap; I bet you can't tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time." She said, "You have the biggest penis of all your friends."

Italian suppositories. (in-you-end-os)

What has four legs and ticks? A walking clock!

One night, I was just walking around, and something really strange happened. Every single black person that night took one look at me and decided to punch me square in the face. Repeatedly. It hurt. And I'm not just talking about one or two, I'm saying every single black person beat the crap out of me that night. I don't know why. I didn't do anything. I didn't say anything. I didn't even look at anybody funny. But after that, I did stop dressing up as a ghost for Halloween.

My Dad is great at raising kids, if he can remember which are his.

In my holiday to one Asian country, I happened to make a friendship with a local guy while I was drinking a softdrink Fanta. He speaks broken English, but I can fairly understand him. I offered him a softdrink, to that he choose Coco Cola. The guy was showing some postcard of Mountains to me. They are really beautiful and just remarked "Fantastic!". I also showed him some beautiful pictures of country side stored in my digital camera, where I have trekked. To my surprise! Can you guess what was his remark? ... ... ... ... ... ... He remarked "Coco Colastic!"

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing this. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you. I've been finding real passion with Barbara and she is so nice even with all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion mom, she's pregnant and Barbara said that we will be very happy. Even though you don't care for her as she is much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Barbara taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for o

Procrastinators meeting tomorrow.

I AM WRITING IN CAPITAL LETTERS BECAUSE IT MAKES IT SEEM LIKE I AM YELLING IN YOUR HEAD AND I LIKE THE IDEA OF YELLING IN YOUR HEAD. IT MAKES ME FEEL POWERFUL!!!