Popular Jokes
It is illegal to have over 16 women live in a house together because that constitutes a brothel. However up to 120 men can live together, without breaking the law.
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You may not sing in the bathtub.
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Fireworks stores may not sell fireworks to Pennsylvania residents.
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Ministers are forbidden from performing marriages when either the bride or groom is drunk.
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Motorized vehicles are not to be sold on Sundays.
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You may not catch a fish with your hands.
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You may not catch a fish by any body part except the mouth.
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Dynamite is not to be used to catch fish.
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Though you do not need a fishing license to fish on your own land, but a hunting license is required to hunt on your ow
How do you confuse an Irishman?
Line 4 shovels up against a wall and tell him to take his pick.
Blood Circulation
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now, boys, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face."
"Yes, sir," the boys said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
Little Johnny shouted, "'Cause yer feet ain't empty."
If you think your life is bad, how would you like to be an egg?
You get laid once in life, you only get eatten once in life, It takes 4 min to get hard, but only 2 min. to get soft, you share your box with 11 other guys, but worst of all the only chick who ever sat on your face was your mother.
Pass this to someone who needs a good lay, sorry I mean day.
It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown - and fewer still to ignore someone completely.
How are a bowling ball and a sorority girl alike?
You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in the gutter and they'll always come back.
A Wocka user has average joke comedy 2.5, but he doesn't get the smiley.
Why can it happen?
Because his average joke comedy is between 2.495 and 2.5, which is rounded up to 2.5.
Can you decipher this phrase?
Weather Cast Cast Cast Cast
Weather forecast!
I had been seeing David for a couple of months; he and I both had children from previous marriages. My daughter Amanda has a slight learning disability and is very outspoken. She just tells it like it is and if you don't like it ... oh well. We were all at David's house, sitting on the porch, talking about all the weird things our children do. Not to be outdone, Amanda says, "Oh, you say *we* are weird? Well, Mom, who chased me around the house the other night with her teeth out?" See, I had planned to tell David that I had false teeth, but I hadn't gotten around to it yet. After I turned 40 shades of red, he looked at me and smiled. "Don't worry," he said, "I still love you." Still, I felt
"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer."
- David Acfield
"And here's Moses Kiptanui - the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago"
- David Coleman, Sportscaster
"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.
"Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something."
- Dennis Rodman, NBA Basketball player, on Chicago Bull's team chemistry being overrated
"The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing."
- Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hi
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