Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button

In my holiday to one Asian country, I happened to make a friendship with a local guy while I was drinking a softdrink Fanta. He speaks broken English, but I can fairly understand him. I offered him a softdrink, to that he choose Coco Cola. The guy was showing some postcard of Mountains to me. They are really beautiful and just remarked "Fantastic!". I also showed him some beautiful pictures of country side stored in my digital camera, where I have trekked. To my surprise! Can you guess what was his remark? ... ... ... ... ... ... He remarked "Coco Colastic!"

Chuck Norris is.... ...stupid.

A blind guy, a deaf guy, and an armless guy were in a cave. All of a sudden, a blind guy said he heard something, the deaf guy said he saw something, and the armless guy said "Let's kick his ass!"

Justin and Tarquin were having a wonderful time at the fairground, trying all the attractions, until they arrived at the carousel. Tarquin said, "Let's go on this one, Justin." "I'm tired right now," said Justin, "you go ahead and I'll see you later." So Tarquin goes on the carousel, but after a few minutes, the the carousel collapses in a heap. "Tarquin, Tarquin, are you all right?" calls Justin. "All right? Of course I'm not all right; seven times I went past you, and you didn't wave once!"

What is the similarity between Michael Jackson and a Playstation 2? They both are made of plastic, and they both get turned on by kids.

It's late at night, the weather's terrible, with lashing rain and high winds, when the traveller decides he's had enough and pulls in to the hotel car park. He grabs a few essentials and makes a dash for the foyer. "Can you let me have a room for the night, please?" he enquires. "Very sorry, sir, we've no spare rooms at all," responds the helpful clerk. "You've no room at all? I find that hard to believe. I think that if George Dubya arrived now, you'd find a room for him!" "Well, I think we might find something for *him*." "Well, he's not coming, so I'll have the room!"

Smart Boss + Smart Employee = Profit Smart Boss + Dumb Employee = Production Dumb Boss + Smart Employee = Promotion Dumb Boss + Dumb Employee = Overtime

'Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual Yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as Mus musculus. Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood-burning caloric apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric philanthropist among whose folkloric appellations is the honorific title of St. Nicholas. The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective accommodations of repose, were experiencing subconscious visual hallucinations o

Tips for calling a business that has an answering service. When you get the answering service, please remember these vital tips. 1) When you call a lockout company, make sure you give the operator the telephone number on your account. It's considered proper procedure for the locksmith to drive to the office to look up an alternate number where you'll be at, and then drive to you. I believe it's quicker that way too. 2) After giving your last name to the operator on the line, and they ask for your first, It's ok to just say Mr or Mrs. Your voice can be deceiving as some people just may not have hit puberty by age 45. 3) If you're calling your apartment complex because your toilet is ov

I know that most jokes about women involve the fact that they are not as "smart" as men and they cannot do two things at once. Nothing could be further from the truth. I have never met a woman, no matter what age, who cannot multi-task, all women can multi-task. They talk and piss you off at the same time!

It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body. It's been proven that people can lessen reactions to allergies by laughing. Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day.Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day. In the middle ages, people would pin the name of their sweetheart to their sleeve on Valentine's Day and keep it there for a week, hence 'wearing their heart on their sleeve'. It was during the Victorian era that the formerly nude Cupid was redesigned as wearing a skirt. The human heart creates enough pressure while pumping to squirt blood 30 feet!! February 1865 is the onl