this site is awesome! look 4 the difference between the pics! http://members.home.nl/saen/Special/Zoeken.swf

It's late at night, the weather's terrible, with lashing rain and high winds, when the traveller decides he's had enough and pulls in to the hotel car park. He grabs a few essentials and makes a dash for the foyer. "Can you let me have a room for the night, please?" he enquires. "Very sorry, sir, we've no spare rooms at all," responds the helpful clerk. "You've no room at all? I find that hard to believe. I think that if George Dubya arrived now, you'd find a room for him!" "Well, I think we might find something for *him*." "Well, he's not coming, so I'll have the room!"

Submit a joke = I'm a but jokes That's so stupid = Sadist puts hot .................................. Bonus jokes with my fur = Joy! Swift knob humerus let's hear a joke = Jerk tease halo (If you guys want that I anagram a sentence you like then post it on the comment box. But only from 7 letters to 30 letters!)

Name something a blind person might use - A sword Name a song with moon in the title - Blue Suede Moon Name a bird with a long neck - Naomi Campbell Name an occupation where you need a torch - A burglar Name a famous brother & sister - Bonnie & Clyde Name a dangerous race - The Arabs Name an item of clothing worn by the 3 musketeers - A horse A kind of ache - Fillet 'O' Fish Something you open other than a door - Your bowels A food that can be brown or white - Potato A jacket potato topping - Jam A famous Scotsman - Jock Another famous Scotsman - Vinnie Jones Something with a hole in it - Window A non living object with legs - Plant A domestic animal - Le

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FIRST QUESTION: You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in? SECOND QUESTION: If you overtake the last person, then you are...? THIRD QUESTION: Very tricky maths. Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Take 1000 and add 40. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total? FOURTH QUESTION: Mary's father has five daughters: Nana, Nene, Nini, Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter? Q1: If you answered that by overtaking the second person you were first, you were absolutely wrong. If you overtake the second person and take his p

Lawyer Says Client is Not That Guilty (Just how guilty was he?) Legislator Wants Tougher Death Penalty (I say, give it to him.) Man Jumps Off Bridge. Neither Jumper Nor Body Found (What?) After Detour to California Shuttle Returns to Earth (Well, this confirms what many of us have suspected about California.) Woman Improving After Fatal Crash (Modern science is amazing, isn't it?)

Stressed out...try some of these relaxing tidbits :) 1. Jam tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out. (This one is great to teach nieces and nephews!) 2. Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa bill. (Even better to call after doing it and say you didn't authorize it and want to know what the hell is going on!) 3. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on. (This one keeps cats and men occupied for a while.) 4. When someone says "Have a nice day" tell them you have other plans. (Like going the store to stock up on ammunition maybe?) 5. Get a box of condoms. Wait in line at the check-out counter and ask the cashier where the fitting rooms are. (And if she's cute, always as

A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game. The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said, "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green." The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole. "Now what?" the fellow asked the speechless pro. "Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup," the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again. The retiree replied, "Oh great! NOW you tell me!"

In the USA they go ice skating. In Canada we go skating; we just assume it will be on ice!

Love thy neighbor all through the day... but first make sure his wife's away! Boyfriend: I'm going to buy us some condoms. Girlfriend: Why? You can't fit all that in one! Boyfriend: You barely fit in a bra! Want to hear two short jokes and a long joke? A 2-year old boy, a 12-year old boy, and a 26-year old boy. Do you know which one I want to have? The 26-year old for nothing but length.

Connecticut: You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour. You are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands. Illinois: It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animal kept as pets. Iowa: Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes. West Virginia: No children may attend school with their breath smelling of "wild onions." Oklahoma: Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog. Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state. Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private p