Popular Jokes
Chuck Norris stared evil in the face, and it backed down
Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.
On the SAT if you put Chuck Norris for every answer you will score over 8000
The United States could save billions in defense funding if they trade the Military for Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris spits out watermelon seeds, he puts a machine gun to shame
Chuck Norris doesn't use after-shave, he uses hot liquid magma.
When Chuck Norris found this web-site while surfing the internet, he round house kicked his computer...10 new facts were added instantly, including this one
You can lead a horse to water but cannot make him drink, unless you're Chuck Norris
No matter what your m
The following is from the British paper, the Sunday Express, giving awards for dubious distinctions.
Tortoise Trophy - To British Rail, which solved the problem of lateness in the Intercity express train service by redefining "on time" to include trains arriving within one hour of schedule.
Rubber Cushion - To John Bloor, who mistook a tube of superglue for his haemorrhoid cream and glued his buttocks together.
Flying Cross - To Percy the pigeon, who flopped down exhausted in a Sheffield loft, having beaten 1,000 rivals in a 500-mile race, and was immediately eaten by a cat. Alas, a 90-minute delay resulting from finding his ID tag and handing it to officials, relegated Percy from first p
What do a walrus & tupperware have in common?
They both like a "tight" SEAL!
It happened one time that a very old lady, whose husband had died, took a walk in the woods.
She came across a young man whose hormones were raging.
The young man tripped the old lady and came on top of her; she screamed and was heard by a couple walking not too far from them, but by the time they arrived the young man was doing the thing.
When the young couple tried to pull him off the old lady,the old lady said, "Let him go ahead and see what his intention is."
2 guys are sitting at a bar after a hard days work and start talking about their wives.
1st guy: "You know what, my wife is an angel."
2nd guy: "Gee, you sure are lucky, my wife is still alive!"
Today I was thinking to myself, how would my life be different if I was born one day earlier.
I said nothing would change except I would have asked myself that yesterday.
A Newfie goes to Toronto to seek his fortune, and after a couple of years is doing very well for himself. His brother calls from Newfoundland to tell him their father is very ill and probably won't survive.
"Well, if he dies I'll pay for the funeral; the best of everything, spare no expense, just send me the bill," says the Toronto Newfie.
Two weeks later he gets a bill in the mail for $7500.00
He sends the cheque off to his brother.
The following week he gets a bill for $75.00
He sends the cheque off to his brother.
The following week he gets another bill for $75.00
He sends the cheque off to his brother.
The following week he gets yet another bill for $75.00
He sends the cheque off to
We invite grandparents to a special day at our school, culminating in a photo op with grandparent and grandchild posing in front of a colorful display from a history class. Only after the last shot was snapped did we notice what appeared above each grandparent's head: a banner screaming,
"Discover the Ancient World."
Yo momma so old, she was at the afterparty when Moses brought down the Ten Commandments.
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