Popular Jokes
A man walks into a shop and says, "I see you don't have any fish", and the shop assistant replies, "You got it wrong - ours is a butcher: we don't have any meat. They don't have any fish in the fish shop that is across the road!"
Teacher: The reason why we see lightening before we hear thunder is because light travels faster than sound.
Blonde student: How do you explain a CLAPPER?
1. Cover your stump before you hump
2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker
3. Don't be silly, protect your willy
4. When in doubt, shroud your spout
5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner
6. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong
7. If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it
8. If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey
9. If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize
10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter
11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick
12. If you go into heat, package your meat
13. While you're undressing venus, dress up your penis
14. When you take off her pants and blouse, slip up your trouser mouse
15. Especially in December, gift wrap your
illy Ray Cyrus: Hey Miley, When did you record that song ?
Miley Cyrus : That's Justin Bieber song .
Justin Bieber is borrowing cloths from Lady Gaga for her next video .
Q: Why Justin Biebers use elevator most of the time ?
A: To reach puberty as soon as possible.
Your momma is so stupid that she think Justin Bieber is a Guy .
Your mother is so stupid that she think Justin Bieber can sing.
Kim Kardasian : I think i got " Bieber Fever"
Doctor : No it is "Herpes".
Justin staring at Gibson Guitar , " What is this thing , it has 6 strings. My guitar at home has 5 buttons .
What does Justin Bieber and the crowd at Time Square for new years have in common? They're both waiting for balls to
Q. What little girl takes from the rich and gives to the poor?
A. Little Red Robbin' Hood!
When we moved cross-country, my wife and I decided to drive both of our cars. Nathan, our eight-year-old, worriedly asked, "How will we keep from getting separated?"
"We'll drive slowly so that one car can follow the other," I reassured him.
"Yeah, but what if we DO get separated?" he persisted.
"Well, then I guess we'll never see each other again," I quipped.
"Okay," he said. "I'm riding with Mom."
Two guys are out hunting deer. The first guy says, "Did you see that?"
"No," the second guy says.
"Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead," the first guy says.
"Oh," says the second guy.
A couple of minutes later, the first guy says, "Did you see that?"
"See what?" the second guy asks.
"Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there."
"Oh."
A few minutes later the first guy says: "Did you see that?"
By now, the second guy is getting aggravated, so he says, "Yes, I did!"
And the first guy says: "Then why did you step in it?"
An Army grunt stands in the rain with a 15 kg. pack on his back, 5 kg. weapon in hand, after having marched 15 km, and says, "This sucks."
An Army Airborne Ranger stands waist deep in the rain with a 25 kg. pack on his back, weapon in hand, after having jumped from an airplane and marched 30 km, and says with a smile, "This sucks just fine!"
A Special Forces soldier lies in the mud, 40 kg pack on his back, weapon in hand, after swimming 10 km to shore, crawling through a swamp and marching 40 km at night past the enemy positions, says with a grin, while biting the head of a snake "This really sucks, I wish it could suck more....."
An Air Force Pilot flying over the battlefield, the rain i
Go to this website ... I know some people might say that this isn't a joke, but it's really funny if you go to the website. Trust me. It doesn't have any viruses.
http://home.comcast.net/~wolfand/
Good luck turns into bad luck when you call the credit card company to tell them they made a mistake on your bill..... and they agree because they didn't charge you enough.
Good luck turns into bad luck when the cutest boy rings you up.... then apologies because he dialed the wrong number.
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