One day a pretty lady was driving through the desert and her car broke down. In the distance, she sees an indian riding a horse. He rides over to her and offers her a lift to the nearest gas station and she happily accepts. On the way to the gas station, the indian would let out a, "Woo Hoo, Yipee!" every few seconds. The lady just figured that he was being an Indian and ignored it. When they finally got to the gas station and the Indian had left, the guy that worked at the gas station asked, "What was his problem?" The lady responded, "I don't know, I was just holding onto his saddle horn." The guy replied, "Lady, Indians don't use saddles!"

In North England: 'mornin' In West England : How ya doin' In India : Get up you lazy chit. Don't you need to go to work ?

101 = keys on a computer keyboard.

Jack and Jill went down the hill.

Can you decipher this phrase? KCAB KCAB Back to back: [i.e. two back(s) - written back(wards)]

Painter: "Y'are a dog." Apemantus: "Thy mother's of my generation. What's she, if I be a dog?"

Ok Umm Uhh, Ahhh! Oh well, I just forgot what I was gonna say. Man I'm stupid

One day, Farrah Fawcett died and went to heaven. At the gates, St.Peter greeted her. "Hello, and welcome. You have lived a life full of prosperity and love. You have given millions around the world entertainment with your acting. Now I will provide you with one wish for the Earth before you enter Heaven. What is it?" Farrah thought for a minute, but answered, "I would like all the children in the world to be safe." The next day, Michael Jackson died.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

A newlywed couple had just arrived in their honeymoon suite. After unpacking, the husband took off his pants. "Put these on," he said to his wife. She did and they were obviously much too large. "There's no way I can wear these - they're way too big," she said. "Good! Now you know who wears the pants in this family," replied the husband. Flustered, the wife removed her panties, and handing them to her husband said, "Put these on." The husband looked at the tiny panties and said, "There's no way I can get into these." To which the wife replied, "You're damn right! At least not until you change your attitude!"

A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house, and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner. He sat down at the kitchen table, let out a big sigh, and said, "Mom, I have something to tell you: I'm gay." His mother made no reply or gave any response, and the guy was about to repeat it to make sure she'd heard him, when she turned away from the pot she was stirring and said calmly, "You're gay, doesn't that mean you have oral sex with other men?" The guy said nervously, "Uh, yeah, Mum, that's right." His mother went back to stirring the pot, then suddenly whirled around and WHACKED him over the head with her spoon and said

Cathy was looking through the window of a clothes store when she spotted a pair of short-shorts. "Wow, these pants are half off!" she told her uncle. Her uncle said "They should be, they are only a half pair of pants."