One beautiful December evening Pedro and his girlfriend Rosita were sitting on a bench by the side of the ocean. It was a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, Mamacita, let's do Weeweechu." "Oh, no, not now, let's look at the moon!" said Rosita. "Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged. "But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon," replied Rosita. "Please, corazoncita, just once, do Weeweechu with me." Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time, we'll do Weeweechu." Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang ..... "Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy

A recent immigrant had just completed a training course titled, 'Improve your English' and was taking an oral exam. The examiner asked him to spell 'cultivate.' Jacob spelled it correctly. The examiner then asked Jacob to use the word 'cultivate' in a sentence. Jacob thought about it for a while, then replied, "Last winter, on a very cold day, I was waiting for the bus but it was too cultivate so I walked home."

Yo Mamma's so fat when she jumped off the ship a sailor yelled, "Land Ahoy!"

A schoolteacher is leading her students through a park, and they see a baby hare. These are city kids, and have never seen a hare. "Do you know who this is?" asks the teacher. No one knows. "Come on kids", says the teacher trying to lead the children to the answer, "He's a character in many stories, songs and poems we always read." One student "figures it out," pats the hare and says reverently, "So *that's* what you're like, Grandpa Lenin!"

Here is a series of jokes my friend told me. They were hilarious, and I thought I should share it with everyone. Apologies for any dupes. You: Want to hear a corny joke? Them: Ok You: Where do you plant corns in a farm? Them: Don't know. Where? You: At the CORNers You: Do you want to hear a cornier joke? Them: Yes You: (pull one lower eyelid) CORNEA! (goofy tone) You: Do you want to hear a long joke or a short joke? Them: Long joke You: Jjjjjoooooookkkkkkkeeeee (drag as long as you can) Them: Short joke You: Jo' (say it very really fast) Enjoy! :)

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened, and the man explained. "Well, doc, it's like this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing; then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help - she tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothin

Three men go on holiday abroad together. The tourist office informs them that there is only one hotel in town with vacancies. The guys go along there, only to be told by receptionist at the hotel that there is just one available room left in the hotel. They are not happy, but as it is their only option, they take the room for one evening and share its only bed. That night, they all enjoy a good night's sleep. In the morning, the guy on the right side of the bed says, "I dreamt I had the best wank last night." The guy on the left side says, "That's funny, I had the exact same dream!". The guy in the middle says, "I dreamt I was skiing."

A young woman had just purchased her dream car, a new Ferrari convertible, and was having trouble tuning her radio to a station she wanted. She returned to the dealership and confronted the salesman, complaining about the radio. "Miss," the salesperson said, "this is a very sophisticated radio. There is no requirement to use the buttons or dials. You merely give voice commands to whatever type of program you desire." So after she received her instructions, she headed out on the highway. "Country Music," she said, and instantly a country crooner was singing away on a country station. After a while she said, "Oldies," and instantly she heard "Blueberry Hill." A few minutes later, a guy in

Men can't pack a bag. Men wouldn't be caught dead wearing red velvet. Men would feel their masculinity is threatened... having to be seen with all those elves. Men don't answer their mail. Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described, even in jest, as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly." Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them. Having to do the "Ho, Ho, Ho," thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women. Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.

Storming into his lawyer's office, a Texas oil magnate demanded that divorce proceedings begin at once against his young bride. "What's the problem?" "I want to hit that adulterin' bitch for breach of contract," snapped the oil man. "I don't know if that will fly," said the lawyer. "I mean your wife isn't a piece of property; you don't own her!" "Damn right," the tycoon rejoined, "but I sure as hell expect exclusive drillin' rights!

8 dumb headlines! Can you figure out what they are trying to say? 1. Subway Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut -New York times 2. Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link -Cornell Daily Sun 3. Low Wages Said Key To Poverty -Newsday 4. Malls Try To Atract Shoppers- Baltimore Sun 5. Official: Only Rain Will Cure Drought -Westport Herald News 6. Teenage Girls Often Have Babies Fathered By Men- Oregonian 7. Man Shoots Neighbor With Machete 8. Free Advice: Bundle Up When Out In The Cold -Lexington Herald-Leader

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