Mik walked home from work and saw 4 people dressed in grim reaper suits. He ran home. The next time,the next time and 6 more walks for home, he decided to confront them. He yelled "who ARE you"????!!! They chased him into a wall. "s-s- Show yourself" he squeaked. They took their masks off and yelled "Hi, we're the wiggles!"

Did you hear about the tree that made an Ash of itself?

Yogi Berra is a famous baseball player who is most widely known for his renowned flubs. Here is a collection of the best. "This is like deja vu all over again." "You can observe a lot just by watching." "He must have made that before he died." -- Referring to a Steve McQueen movie. "I want to thank you for making this day necessary." -- On Yogi Berra Appreciation Day in St. Louis in 1947. "I'd find the fellow who lost it, and, if he was poor, I'd return it." -- When asked what he would do if he found a million dollars. "Think! How the hell are you gonna think and hit at the same time?" "You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there

At weddings old people poke me and say, "You're next!" At funerals, I do the same.

What's the hardest part of skydiving? The ground!

What's the difference between MJ and Mr. Potato Head? MJ has more noses. How are MJ and a Wal-Mart bag alike? They're both plastic and hazardous to children.

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. He says, "What are you doing?" She answers, "I'm moving to Las Vegas. I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free!" Later that night on her way out the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase. When she asks him where he's going, he replies, "I'm going to Vegas too. I want to see you live on $800 a year!"

There were three men at a bar. One man got drunk and started a fight with the other two men. The police came and took the drunk guy to jail. The next day the man went before the judge. The judge asked the man, "Where do you work?" The man said, "Here and there." The judge asked the man, "What do you do for a living?" The man said, "This and that." The judge then said, "Take him away." The man said, "Wait, judge when will I get out?" The judge said to the man, "Sooner or later."

Q> What kind of soup do gay Chinese men like? A> Cream of sum yun guy

I hate thongs! I mean, come on, Women don't need to floss their butts.

What 3 words are in the name Amanda? A, man, DUH!!

Here's a good trick to try on people... Say to them: "I'm going to ask you two questions. one you have to answer yes, the other you have to answer no. 1st question: Are you stupid?