This is a true story. Last year my teachers all believed in the, "There is no stupid question" thing, until we started talking about a three day trip our class was going to take. We had just finished talking about room arrangements. My teacher asked for any questions, stating his famous line, "There are no stupid questions." A girl raised her hand and asked, "Are guys allowed to bunk with us?" He now has a new fave line, "There are no stupid questions, just stupid people."

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that.

One day after a birthday party at the jumper house, a young blond told her mother: Mommy, Mommy, I'm soooooo generous! When I was about to go into the jumpers, I found so many shoes and took them to the lost and found! Aren't I soooooo generous?

Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other, 'Boy was my wife mad at me last night. She went on and on and wouldn't stop!' The other Buddy says, 'When my wife goes off on me I just don't listen.' 'How do you do that?' says the other. 'It's easy! I turn off the light!'

As the bus pulled away, I realized I had left my purse under the seat. Later, I called the company and was relieved that the driver had found my bag. When I went to pick it up, several off-duty bus drivers surrounded me. One man handed me my pocketbook, two typewritten pages and a box containing the contents of my purse. "We're required to inventory lost wallets and purses," he explained. "I think you'll find everything there." As I started to put my belongings back into the pocketbook, the man continued, "I hope you don't mind if we watch. Even though we all tried, none of us could fit everything into your purse - and we'd like to see just how you do it."

The American tourist in Dublin had been complaining a great deal about the food. "Here," he said to the waitress, holding out a piece of meat for inspection, "do you call that pig?" "Which end of the fork, sir?" the waitress asked.

What's the hardest thing about rollerblading? Telling your parents that you are gay.

A guy is sitting in a bar with his friends bitching about going home to his wife. His friends ask him why he doesn't want to go home to such a fine looking woman and he replies... "Well, the problem is that she has Gonnorrhea" So what say the friends, flip her over. "Well, she also has diarrhea" the guy says. "Yuck, but what about her mouth." The friends chime in. "Halitosis" the man says. "Damn, Why would you stay with her?" The friends say. "Well," the guy replies "She also has worms, and you guys know how I like to fish."

Why was the moron hitting his head against the wall? Because it felt so good when he stopped ! What do you call 12 morons at the bottom of a pool? An air pocket! Why did the moron drive his truck off the bridge? He wanted to check his airbrakes! How many morons does it take to screw in a light bulb? 3...one to hold the bulb, and 2 to turn the chair! Why did the moron open the refrigerator door? He wanted to see the salad dressing! How do you confuse a moron? Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner!

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction New Vaccine May Contain Rabies Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies Teacher Strikes Idle Kids Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again Iraqi Head Seeks Arms Farmer Bill Dies in House Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board

Fool me once shame on you Fool me twice shame on me Fool me thrice you are not nice Fool me four times and I am gonna cap your sorry ass.

Friends don't let friends use Windows95.