A man was walking through Beverly Hills selling door to door what he claimed to be the "Magic Elixir of Life". Of course, the police arrested him and ran a computer check of him. They found the man had quite a long record of such dealings. He was first arrested for that type of crime in 1660.

A Donkey meets a Buick at the High Road. "Hello car", the Donkey says. "Hello donkey", the Buick replies, when suddenly the Donkey begins to cry. "Oh my" the Buick says. "Why are you crying"? "Well, when i now call you car, you can at least call me horse.

An Army brat was boasting about his father to a Navy brat. "My dad is an engineer. He can do everything. Do you know the Alps?" "Yes," said the Navy brat. "My dad has built them." Then the navy kid spoke: "And do you know the Dead Sea?" "Yes." "It's my dad who's killed it!"

Honecker and Mielke are discussing their hobbies. Honecker: "I collect all the jokes about me that are in circulation." Mielke: "Then we have almost the same hobby. I collect those who bring the jokes into circulation."

How can you tell that the Stasi has bugged your apartment? There's a new cabinet in it.

A heavy-set woman goes into a drug store and asks for talcum powder. The bowlegged clerk says, "Walk this way," and the woman answers, "If I could walk that way I would not need talcum powder!"

The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the town's preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was. Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, "Go up there and take a look in the coffin and see if that's your pa."

A Mexican, an American, and a Pollock are all in an airplane Flying over Mexico. The Mexican drops a pear on his country. When the American asks why he says he loves his country. Then they're flying over the US and the American drops an apple. When the Pollock asks why he says because he loves his country. Then they're flying over the Pollock's country and the Pollock drops a bomb. When the American and the Mexican ask why he says because he hates his country. A while later the Mexican is walking the streets and he sees a boy who is crying. He asks why and the boy says because a pear fell out of the sky and hit him on the head. The American is walking the streets and he sees a little girl cr

An actual sign outside a house: The dog is okay. Beware of the owner

I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous.

My uncle is very superstitious. He won't work any week that has a Friday in it.

Here are some actual town's names: 1.) Two Egg, a town in Florida, was named for a system of barter used in the area after the Civil War, when two eggs were regularly traded for a bag of tobacco or sugar. 2.) Ed and Uz are the shortest place names in the United States. Both towns are in Kentucky. 3.) Slovenskanarodnapodpornajednota is a town in Pennsylvania. It has one of the longest names in the United States, but it covers only 500 acres and has only 11 residents, one mailbox, and one pay phone. 4.) Onoville, New York, was given this name because each time someone suggested a name at a town council meeting, the person was greeted by a chorus of "Oh, no!" 5.) Show Low is the name