Popular Jokes
Number of physicians in the US = 700,000
Accidental deaths caused by physicians/year =120,000.
Accidental deaths/physician = 0.171
Number of gun owners in US = 80,000,000
Number of accidental gun deaths/year = 1500
Accidental deaths/gun owner =.0000188
Conclusion - Doctors are approximately 9000 times more
dangerous than gun owners!
A man goes into a sportswear shop, and when a pretty blonde assistant asks him what he wants, he goes red in the face and stammers, "A packet of condoms, please."
The assistant says, "This is a sportswear shop, we don't sell condoms!" and the man leaves.
Two days later, he's back. "A packet of condoms, please." "I've told you before, we don't sell condoms!" and again, he gets all flustered and leaves hurriedly.
Three days later, and he enters the shop again. This time, the manager is ready for him, and goes up to him, saying, "We do NOT sell condoms!" He blusters, and eventually admits, "Actually, I'm after a Dallas Cowboys shirt, but I was just too embarrassed to ask for one!"
"Every day I live with fear, but occasionally I leave her and go drag racing."
"I like to snatch kisses and vice versa."
Seen on an attractive and busty brunette: "Size DOES matter!"
Seen on a different attractive and busty brunette: "We could mate ...(picture of black widow spider) ... but then I'd have to kill you."
Seen on a very overweight guy in a parking lot: "I beat anorexia."
"Goal Of A Bitch: To dominate, control and destroy a man's finances, mental health, self-esteem and any hope for happiness." Seen being worn by one.
Many years ago, a fisherman's wife blessed her husband with twin sons. They loved the children very much, but couldn't think of what to name their children. Finally, after several days, the fisherman said, "Let's not decide on names right now. If we wait a little while, the names will simply occur to us."
After several weeks had passed, the fisherman and his wife noticed a peculiar fact. When left alone, one of the boys would also turn towards the sea, while the other boy would face inland. It didn't matter which way the parents positioned the children, the same child always faced the same direction. "Let's call the boys Towards and Away," suggested the fisherman. His wife agreed, and from
Who is the greatest prostitute in history? Ms.Pacman For 50 cents she'll swallow balls until she dies.
Which word is the odd one out?
seventy
brawl
clover
proper
carrot
swing
change
travel
sacred
stone
Carrot.
Each of the other words remains a real word if you remove the first and last letter.
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