Popular Jokes
Maths teacher asks a blonde girl what comes after 69?" Essex girl replies "you wash your face and rinse your mouth DUH...!"
Everyone knows that common phrase, meaning, 'COME ON, I NEED TO GET LUCKY!' Well, whenever I need to get lucky, I say,
Daddy needs a new pair o' pants!
(Come on, winter is coming!)
A Dane, a Norwegian and Snakeyboy made a wager on who could remain inside a goat pen the longest. First out was the Dane, who came out after just 10 minutes yelling "Damn! The goat stinks!" After him the Norwegian went in, and after half an hour he came out yelling, "Damn! The goat stinks!" Finally Snakeyboy went in. After 2 hours the goat came rushing out yelling "Damn! Snakeyboy stinks!"
1. You had to share a room until you were 21.
2. You try and re-use gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil.
3. You are standing next to the two largest suitcases at the airport.
4. You arrive one or two hours late to a party â and think it s normal.
5. All your children have nicknames, which sound nowhere close to their real names.
6. You know someone with 20 kids.
7. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.
8. You can fit 10 people into a Civic.
9. Your parents never throw anything away and if you by some chance manage to get something to make it to the garbage can . . . it mysteriously appears back where it was again.
10. You have lace curtains
A fact of life:
After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F
I saw on the news a little boy being carried up to the sky. I got scared cause I thought Michael Jackson was ordering take-out from Heaven.
One day God said that he would grant anyone in line a wish. This one guy got stuck at the back of the line, which made him kind of upset.
The people before him went on through the line, and everybody wished that they could be beautiful. The last guy came up to God and said, "I wish that all the people that wished they were beautiful were ugly again."
The next time that you're last in line - be happy.
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