"Hey, you! Pull over!" shouted the traffic cop. The lady complied, and the judge next day fined her twenty-five dollars for speeding. She went home in great anxiety lest her husband, who always examined her checkbook, should learn of the incident. Then inspiration struck and she marked the check stub, "One pullover, $25."

Some men will got to extraordinary lengths to prove how macho they are. Frenchman Pierre Pumpille recently shunted a stationary car two feet by headbutting it. "Women thought I was a god," he explained from his hospital bed. Deity or not, however, Pumpille is a veritable girl's blouse compared to Polish farmer Krystof Azninski, who staked a strong claim to being Europe's most macho man by cutting off his own head in 1995. Azninski, 30, had been drinking with friends when it was suggested they strip naked and play some "men's games". Initially they hit each other over the head with frozen turnips, but then one man upped the ante by seizing a chainsaw and cutting off the end of his foot. Not

1. You are not a superman. 　　你不是超人。 　　2. If it's stupid but works，it isn't stupid. 　　如果一个蠢方法有效，那它就不是一个蠢方法。 　　3.Don't look conspicuous-it draws fire. (This is why aircraft carriers are called"Bomb Magnets".) 　　不要太显眼，因为那会引人攻击。（这就是航空母舰被称为"炸弹磁铁"的原因。） 　　4. When in doubt，empty your magazine. 　　有问题时，清空你的弹匣。 　5. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are. 　　别和比你勇敢的战友躲在同一个弹坑里。 　6. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder. 　　别忘了你手上çš

My uncle (Dan) and his best friend (Erik) have an April Fool month every April. Each plays one major prank on the other during the month - neither know when they will be pranked or what will happen when they are. Here are a couple of the things that they have done to each other: 1. One year Erik took police caution tape and completely wraped Dan's jeep up in it. He took the tape over and under the jeep so that the only visible parts of the car were the tires. He then took the tape across the street and into the house to his bedroom door. When Dan woke up and followed the tape to his front door he saw his entire jeep in yellow tape! 2. Another year Dan entered an ad in the pets section for

This guy couldn't decide whether to go to Salt Lake City or Denver for vacation, so he called the airlines to get prices. "Airfare to Denver is $300," said a cheery salesperson. "And what about Salt Lake City?" "We have a really great rate to Salt Lake - $99.00, but there is a stopover." "Where?" "Denver."

You are young and beautiful, have 2 university degrees, and are fluent in 3 languages. You have long blonde hair, long legs and a killer smile and you want to earn a salary no less than 100 000$ per year. That's nice. But we need a plumber.

What is represented by this? HEAR T Broken heart!

A few months after his parents were divorced, Nick passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!" Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Nick ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"

I have a machine which has four cog wheels in constant mesh. The largest cog has 72 teeth and the others have 36, 25 and 15 respectively. How many revolutions must the largest cog make before each of the cogs is back in its starting position? 25 revolutions.

There once was a man who couldn't speak correctly. He wanted to go buy some stuff for his wife. First, he needed to buy a bucket. "Excuse me sir, can I buy a fuck-it?" the man asked. The clerk said, "You mean a bucket?" "Yes, that's what I said, a fuck-it." While the man was walking he found some gum. "Oh look, bum." He took the gum and walked to the pet store. He wanted to buy a cocker spaniel. "Excuse me sir, can I buy a cock-and-spank-it?" "Sure, but you do mean a cocker spaniel?" "Yes, that's what I said, a cock-and-spank-it." As the man was walking, and his dog ran away. The man asked a stranger, "Excuse me miss, can you hold my bum and fuck-it, while I get my cock-and-spank-it?"

With iPhone, dialing contacts is a snap. Let's say you wanted to contact your ex-girlfriend to let her know how badly she's hurt you. Simply press her name, and the call is dialed. "Dammit, Rick, stop calling me!" Then, when another call comes in, simply place that call on hold and answer the second one. "This is Detective Hanson, from the Bay Area Police Department." To block the call, simply press ignore. iPhone is also the best iPod ever made. With it, you can listen to the song that was playing when she said you'd be together forever. *music* Then, you can use Google maps to locate the street where she's moved away to. Simply touch the traffic button and iPhone tells you the best route t

Joe figured out a way to remember his wife's birthday and their wedding anniversary. He opened an account with a florist and told him to send flowers to his wife on those dates, along with a note signed, "Your loving husband." His wife was thrilled by the attention, and all was great until one anniversary. Joe came home, saw the bouquet, kissed his wife, and said, "Nice flowers. Where'd you get them?"