The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they don't speak the same language. For instance, take the simple phrase "secure the building". The Army will post guards around the place. The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors. The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy.

Two blondes were building a house. One saw that the other was going into her pouch and throwing every other nail out. She thought that this was weird and decided to look into. "Why do you keep throwing every other nail away?" "Well, when I pull one out of my pouch, and it is facing towards the house, I nail it in. If it is facing away from the house, it is defective and I throw it away." "You idiot, those nails aren't defective, they are for the other side of the house."

Chuck Norris invented the question mark. Chuck Norris trick-or-treated as himself as a child. Chuck Norris has 3 knees on each leg. Chuck Norris likes long walks on the beach, Barry White music, Harlequin romance novels, songbirds, rainbows, and quiet time with his lady...just before he roundhouse kicks her in the face. Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds. If you gave Chuck Norris a typewriter and 0.000000000000000000001th of a second he can write the Complete Works of Shakespeare Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter. Chuck Norris' beard hair is believed to be an aphrodisiac in China. The helicopter was invented after Chuck Norris was observed doing 8 roundhouse

A young husband with an inferiority complex insisted he was just a little pebble on a vast beach. The marriage counselor, trying to be creative, told him, "If you wish to save your marriage, you'd better be a little boulder."

Q: Why did the condom fly across the room A: It was pissed off!!

What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A teacher says "spit your gum out" and a train says "choo choo!!"

Yo momma's so stupid, she watches television on an Etch-A-Sketch.

From a contractor: "Whoever worked on this before sure knew what he was doing." "I think I came in a little high on that estimate." From my dentist: "I think you're flossing too much." "I won't ask you any questions until I take the pick out of your mouth." From a restaurant server: "I think it's presumptuous for a waiter to volunteer his name, but since you ask, it's Tim." "I was slow and inattentive. I cannot accept any tip." From a store clerk: "The computerized cash register is down. I'll just add up your purchases with a pencil and paper." "I'll take a break after I finish waiting on these customers." "We're sorry we sold you defective merchandise. We'll pick it up at your

Hawt het hlle ma i redanig?

Please properly capitalize the title of the joke and each sentence within the joke. Proper names should also be capitalized.

Yo momma's cooking so bad, she's got a toothbrush next to her plate instead of a knife!

Everybody knows about the kangaroo, the tall marsupial that lives in Australia, but when settlers first went there, they were amazed and had never seen anything like them. They asked an aborigine what the animals were called. He replied, "Kangaroo," so that is what the settlers called them. Little did they know, kangaroo is an aboriginal phrase meaning, "I don't understand your question."