There was once, Mr. Maggi mee was walking along the streets and noticed Mr. Meatball just a few metres ahead of him. He then went up, gave Mr. Meatball a good beating and left. Mr. Meatball, not wanting to take this insult, gathered all his meatball friends and arranged to meet outside Mr. Maggi mee's house to seek vengence on the beating. They pressed the bell, and Mr. Spaghetti opened the door. They walloped him and as they did, Mr. Spaghetti asked : why are you guys beating me? Mr. Meatball replied : "Don't think that just because you had yourself rebonded, we wouldn't recognise you!"

Yo momma so stupid, when Moses brought down the Ten Commandments, she said, "Where's the ketchup?" HINT:commandments condiments

There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar. There are more chickens than people in the world. There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewable Vitamins.

#1 In ancient times strangers shook hands to show that they were unarmed. #2 Strawberries are the only fruits whose seeds grow on the outside. #3 Avocados have the highest calories of any fruit at 167 calories per hundred grams. #4 It cost the soft drink industry $100 million a year for thefts committed involving vending machines. #5 The moon moves about two inches away from the Earth each year. #6 The Earth gets 100 tons heavier every day due to falling space dust. #7 Due to earth's gravity it is impossible for mountains to be higher than 15,000 meters. #8 Men's shirts have the buttons on the right, but women's shirts have the buttons on the left. #9 Mickey Mouse is known as "Topoli

The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly." On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?" "Yes," the boy's mother answered. "And how is your son now?" the psychiatrist asked. "Who cares?" the mother replied.

170 The Cape of Good Hope is located in South Africa 171 Heathrow Airport is located in London 172 The neon lamp was invented by Georges Claude 173 The last letter of the Greek alphabet is Omega 174 The place known as the land of Lincoln is Illinois 175 The US state Utah is also known as the Beehive state 176 The Kalahari desert is located in Africa 177 The Pentagonian desert is located in Argentina 178 The person known as the father of aeronautics is Sir George Cayley 179 The most densely populated Island in the world is Honshu 180 The two nations Haiti and the Dominion Republic together form the Island of Hispaniola 181 The largest auto producer in the USA is General Motors 182 The largest

Until babies are six months old, they can breathe and swallow at the same time. Indeed convenient! Offered a new pen to write with, 97% of all people will write their own name. Male mosquitoes are vegetarians. Only females bite. The average person's field of vision encompasses a 200-degree wide angle. To find out if a watermelon is ripe, knock it, and if it sounds hollow then it is ripe. Canadians can send letters with personalized postage stamps showing their own photos on each stamp. Babies' eyes do not produce tears until the baby is approximately six to eight weeks old. It snowed in the Sahara Desert in February of 1979. Plants watered with warm water grow larger and more

Uh huh ... extra cheese Uh huh, uh huh ... save a piece for me Pizza party at your house I went just to check it out Nineteen extra larges What a shame No one came Just us eatin' all alone You said, Take the pizza home No sense lettin' all this go to waste So then I faced Pizza all day And every day This cheese 'round the clock Is gettin' me blocked And I sure don't care For irregularity Tell me Why'd you have to go and make me so constipated? 'Cause right now I'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated In the bathroom ... I sit and I wait and I strain And I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain Oh, should I take laxatives or have my colon irrigated? No no no I was feelin' pretty d

How do you know when you've had enough sex? When you die from AIDS!

A U.S. Mint spokesperson announced the plans for a new fifty-cent piece that was being issued in the honor of two great American patriots. On one side of the coin would be Theodore Roosevelt, on the other, Nathan Hale. When questioned by a reporter why two people were going to appear on the same coin, the spokesperson replied, "These two men were selected to simplify life for a vast majority of Americans." The reporter then asked, "Could you explain how this would simplify life for Americans?" The official responded, "Certainly, I'd be happy to. Now, when they toss a coin, they can simply call Ted's or Hale's."

A woman was about to have a set of triplets. While in the womb, the triplets were trying to figure out what they wanted to be when they grew up. The first one said that he wanted to be an electrician, and the others asked him why. He said, "So I can get some light in this place." The second one said that he wanted to be a plumber, because their house was flooded. The third said that he wanted to be a trapper. The other two asked him why he wanted to do that and he said "So I can catch that damn weasel that keeps poking its head in and out of here."

The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch. Someone called 911. When the paramedics arrived, they helped him regain consciousness and asked if he knew what caused him to faint. "It was enough to make anybody faint," he said. "My son asked me for the keys to the garage, and instead of driving the car out, he came out with the lawn mower!"