Popular Jokes
Hi, this is Johan advising you that you spend WAY too much time on the phone. GO OUTSIDE... See the world, LIVE a little... Have fun.
Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means death.
Dihydrogen monoxide:
* is also known as hydric acid, and is the major component of acid rain.
* contributes to the "greenhouse effect."
* may cause severe burns.
* contribute
One guy went to see a doctor because he had a hearing problem, so he met his friend and the conversation began!
First guy: "Did the doctor give you your test results?"
Second guy: "Yeah. Looks like all those years of phone sex caught up with me.
I have hearing AIDS."
When I was growing up I never bothered to learn French. So I tried very hard to avoid French in general, since I didn't know any of it. It was very hard to avoid...
...since my family spoke french...
A woman goes over to her married son's house and walks in to find her daughter-in-law sitting in a chair, entirely nude. The mother-in-law says, "What the hell are you doing?" "I'm wearing my love dress," responds the daughter-in-law, "We haven't made love in a long time."
So the mother-in-law says, "Hm, maybe I should try that."
She goes home to find her husband is not in, so she gets undressed. Two hours go by and finally she hears her husband's car. He walks in the front door and says, "What the hell are you doing?"
"I'm wearing my love dress," says the wife.
"Well," responds the husband, "it needs to be ironed."
In Year 1981
1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool crowned Champions of Europe
3. Australia lost the Ashes
4. Pope Died
In Year 2005
1. Prince Charles got married (again)
2. Liverpool crowned Champions of Europe(again)
3. Australia lost the Ashes (again)
4. Pope Died (again)
Moral of the story -
In future, if Prince Charles decides to re-marry....
Please warn the Pope
01
The first Prime minister of Bangladesh was Mujibur Rehman
02
The longest river in the world is the Nile
03
The longest highway in the world is the Trans-Canada
04
The longest highway in the world has a length of about 8000 km
05
The highest mountain in the world is the Everest
06
The country that accounts for nearly one third of the total teak production of the world is Myanmar
07
The biggest desert in the world is the Sahara desert
08
The largest coffee growing country in the world is Brazil
09
The country also known as "Country of Copper" is Zambia
10
The name given to the border which separates Pakistan and Afghanistan is the Durand line
11
The river Volga flows out into the Caspian se
110
The largest bay in the world is Hudson Bay, Canada
111
The largest church in the world is Bascilica of St.Peter, Vatican City, Rome
112
The largest peninsula in the world is Arabia
113
The largest gulf in the world is Gulf of Mexico
114
The tallest statue in the world is the Motherland, Volgograd, Russia
115
The largest railway tunnel in the world is the Oshimzu Tunnel, Japan
116
The world's loneliest island is the Tristan da Cunha
117
The word 'Quiz' was coined by Jim Daly, Irishman
118
The original meaning of 'Quiz' was Trick
119
The busiest shopping centre of London is Oxford Street
120
The residence of the Queen in London is Buckingham Palace
121
Adolf Hitler was born in Austria
122
3 young boys were walking along a river bank when they saw a man drowning in the river. Together they manage to pull him out.
When they pulled him out they notice that it is in fact George Bush, leader of the free world.
George Bush says to the boys, "Thank you oh so much! In return for you kindness, I will give each of you whatever you desire."
He turns to the first boy, "What would you like?"
The boy says, "I'd like a bike, but not just any bike, a bike with all the whistles and gadgets it could possibly have!"
George Bush says, "And you shall have it!" He turns to the second boy, "And what about you?"
The boy goes, "I'd like a huge house for all 12 members of my family, a huge mansi
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