The Poop Name List __________________________________________________ The Perfect Dump- Every once in a while, each of us experiences a perfect dump, it's rare, but a thing of beauty in all respects. You sit down expecting the worst, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fartless masterpiece that breaks the water with the splashless grace of an expert diver. But that's not the end of it. You use some toilet tissue only to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right with the world and you are in perfect harmony with it. The Beer Dump- Talk about nasty dumps. Depending on the dumper's tolerance, the beer dump is the end result of too many beers. it could have

A biker walks into a yuppie bar and shouts, "All lawyers are assholes!" He looks around, obviously hoping for a challenge. Finally a guy comes up to him, taps him on the shoulder, and says, "Take that back." The biker says, "Why? Are you a lawyer?" "No, I'm an asshole."

Q: Where is Spiderman's home page? A: On the world wide web. Q: Why is Superman stupid? A: Because he wears his underwear over his pants. Q: Why is Batman more stupid? A: Because he wears his underwear over his pants and puts on a belt over his underwear. Q: Why is Robin even more stupid? A: Because he followed what batman did. Q: Why is Wonder Woman stupid? A: Because she wears a belt on her head. Q: Why is Spiderman the most stupid superhero of them all? A: Because he wears his underwear over his head.

The was a man named Jimmy who was on a job interview in another state that he didn't know very well. While he was driving he became very tired. Noticing there were no hotels in sight, he pulled over in the driveway and knocked on the door. A old man in his 60s greeted him. "Hi, Im sorry to disturb you, but I am very tired. May I sleep here just for tonight?" Jimmy asked. The old man cleared his thoat and said,"Well, I don't have any more rooms available, but you can sleep with my daughter if you don't disturb her." Jimmy nodded his head and agreed, and the old man showed him the room. "See you in the morning," said the old man. Jimmy stripped his clothes off and got into the bed. He fel

The following actually occured last year in a resturaunt in Redford, Michigan. ________________________________________________ So........There's an empty bar,at the far right a man walks up, sits down, and orders a ginger ale. Another guy sits down at the opposite side of the bar a few minutes later and orders a glass of white wine. He says aloud in a quiet voice, "How could our President try to stop gay marriage?" Then the man at the far right answered, "Because marriage is bettween a man and a women and anyone who disagrees is going to have to change how they feel eventually if they want to go to heaven." (He sips his ginger ale, and puts his head in his hand to support himself.) "Bu

To save a tree remove a Bush.

A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag. "Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them." "That's the same with us," the American said, "only we see stars, too."

So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes, you know you're from California if: 1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible. 2. You make over $400,000 and still can't afford a house. 3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English. 4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower. 5. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal? 6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor. 7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian. 8. You can't remember .

What is the similarity between Einstein and Newton? Neither of them ever had a mobile phone!

Law of Cat Inertia A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force – such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse. Law of Cat Motion A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction. Law of Cat Magnetism All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric. Law of Cat Thermodynamics Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat. Law of Cat Stretching A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken. Law of Cat Sleeping All cats must sleep with peop

Teacher:Can anyone tell me what a shamrock is? Jimmy:It's a fake diamond,Miss. -------------------------------------------------------------- What's the longest piece of furniture in the school? The multiplication table. -------------------------------------------------------------- 'Why are you crying, Amanda?'asked the teacher. 'Cos Jenny's broken my new doll, Miss,' she cried. 'How did she do that?' 'I hit her on the head with it.' -------------------------------------------------------------- The night-school teacher asked one of his pupils when he had last sat an exam.'1945'said the lad. 'Good lord! That's more than 50 years ago.' 'No, Sir! An a hour and a half ago. It's quarter past ni

A philosophy professor stood before his class with some items in front of him. When the class began, he picked up a very large, empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, approximately two inches in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full and they agreed that it was. Next, he picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. So, he picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He again asked the students if the jar was full. They responded with a unanimo