Popular Jokes
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the prefere
There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would move the pig from one apple to another until the pig was satisfied, then he would start again with another pig.
The city man watched this activity for some time with great astonishment. Finally, he could not resist saying to the farmer, "This is the most inefficient method of feeding pigs that I can imagine. Just think of the time that would be saved if you simply shook the apples off the tree and let the pigs eat the
A blonde got an invitation to a party which said "Wear brown tie only!"
After going to the party, she noticed that they were wearing pants and shirts also!
The class homework was to write about something unusual that had happened in the previous month.
Little Johnny stood up to read his: "Daddy fell in the well last week," he began.
"Good heavens," shrieked Mrs. Johnson, the teacher. "Is he all right now?"
"He must be," said Timmy. "He stopped yelling for help yesterday."
Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends.
Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.
Yo mama so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitimate" because she couldn't read.
Yo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind.
Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl.
Yo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!
Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!
Yo mama so stupid that she tr
How do you know if a 500-pound man is a millionaire?
(That's 500-pound fat, not muscle.)
Because he will have a totally hot, blonde, babe on his arm.
After she was finished with Cinderella, the fairy godmother paid a visit on another poor young girl, Minuetta. Extremely flat-chested, the woman is convinced that her life would improve if only she had large breasts.
"All right," the fairy godmother said. "How about we fix it so that every time a man says 'pardon' to you, your breasts grow a bit."
Delighted with the arrangement, Minuetta goes to the market next day. Bumping into the woodcutter, she's delighted when he tips his hat, says, "I beg your pardon," and her breasts grow nearly an inch. Later, when a coachmean accidentally splashes mud on her, he stops and says, "Pardon me." Her breasts grow again.
Smiling radiantly when she
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