Knock-Knock Who's There Hatch Hatch Who? God Bless You.

Signs That Were Found In Peoples' Kitchens: A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes. A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator. A clean house is a sign of a misspent life. Help keep the kitchen clean - eat out. Housework done properly can kill you. Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one! Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back! Why did Cinderella get kicked off the football team? Because she ran away from the ball! Why was it hot after the basketball game? Because all the fans were gone! Why is tennis such a noisy game? Because everyone raises such a racket! What did the grape do when he got squashed? He gave out a little whine! What kind of key doesn't fit into a keyhole? A keyboard key! How do you stop meatballs from drowning? Put them in gravy boats. What is the demons' favorite TV sitcom? Friends. Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin. What did

Jabu walked into class every morning with a black eye. After a while his teacher got worried and asked him about it. Jabu answered, "Our house is very small, Miss. Me, my mother and my father, we sleep in the same bed. Every night my father asks, 'Jabu are you sleeping?' I say, 'no' and then he hits me and gives me a black eye." So the teacher says to him, "When your father asks again, keep dead quiet and don't answer." The following morning, Jabu comes to school and his eye is fine, so the teacher breathes a sigh of relief. But the day after that Jabu comes back with a black eye again. "My goodness Jabu, why the black eye again?" He tells her, "Ma'am, Dad asked me again, 'Jabu are you

One day there were 3 children that were sent to the head of the school's office. Their names were Fly, Dick and Piss. When they got there, no one was there so Fly hid on the desk, Dick hid under the desk and Piss started to jump around. When the head of the school got there he said "Fly down, Dick up and Piss on the floor!"

Mosquitoes have 47 teeth. An ant can lift 50 times its own weight. Holland is the only country with a national dog. The first penny had the motto "mind your own business. Before mercury, brandy was used to fill thermometers. Chinese is the most commonly spoken language in the world.

#1 Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are: Mizaru(See no evil), Mikazaru(Hear no evil), and Mazaru(Speak no evil). 2 # Warner Comm. paid $28 million for the copyright to the song 'Happy Birthday.' #3 Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. #4 A comet's tail always points away from the sun. #5 The "Swine flu" vaccine in 1976 caused more death and illness than the disease it was intended to prevent. #6 Caffeine increases the power of aspirin and other painkillers, that is why it is found in some medicines. #7 The military salute is a motion that evolved from medieval times, when knights in armor raised their visors to reveal their identity. #8 If yo

140 Ice Cream was discovered by Gerald Tisyum 141 The number regarded as lucky number in Italy is thirteen 142 Napoleon suffered from alurophobia which means fear of cats 143 The aeroplanes was used in war for the first time by Italians (14 Oct.1911) 144 Slavery in America was abolished by Abraham Lincoln 145 The Headquarters of textile manufacturing in England is Manchester 146 The famous island located at the mouth of the Hudson river is Manhattan 147 The founder of plastic industry was Leo Hendrik Bakeland 148 The country where military service is compulsory for women is Israel 149 The country which has more than 10,000 golf courses is USA 150 The famous painting 'Mona Lisa' is displayed

In most of the United States, there is a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when the temperatures drop to single digits or below. About 3am one very cold morning, Trooper Allan Nixon #658 responded to a call there was a car off the shoulder of the road outside Shattuck. He located the car, stuck in deep snow, and with the engine still running. Pulling in behind the car with his emergency lights on, the Trooper walked to the driver's door to find an older man passed out behind the wheel with a nearly empty vodka bottle on the seat beside him. The driver came awake when the Trooper tapped on the window. Seeing the rotating lights in his rearview mirror, and the State T

1. Chuck Norris beat the brick wall in tennis. 2. The boogy man does not wait for chuck norris, Chuck Norris waits for the boogy man.

Returning home from dinner out one night, I started to feel sick. Suspecting food poisoning, I called the restaurant's manager. "I can't believe that happened!", she said. She sounded truly shocked. "What did you order?" I told her I ordered the meat loaf. "That's weird,"she observed."Usually it's the stuffing."

Why was Johnny's math book sad? It had too many problems!