As a gift for Christmas, a wealthy family gives its children seventeen computer games. The youngest child gets one ninth of the games, the middle child gets one third of the games and the oldest child gets one half of the games. How are the games divided up, remembering you cannot have part of a computer game? The family are a little stuck until they borrow a game from their neighbours. This allows: one ninth of 18 is 2, one third of 18 is 6 and one half of 18 is 9. Now, this adds to 2 + 6 + 9 = 17, leaving the spare game to give back to their neighbour!

A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years." "Yeah," she replied, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I know," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago." "Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say...should we get naked?" Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My breasts are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago." "I wouldn't be surprised," replied

An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman's head. "Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper." "What for?" says the man. "He must be half-a-mile away by now."

What do you call a dog in the sun? A Hot Dog!

Three friends sat down in the new cafe' in town. They began to have casual conversation, and eventually jokes were brought up. One of them said, "Oh, did you hear the joke about the guy in hell drinking coffee and eating a doughnut?" Before anyone could answer, though, the man across the room told the waitress, "I'll have some coffee and a doughnut"

This couple is walking to a bank, and they're trying to get at a savings account, when suddenly a bank robber comes in. He tells everyone to get against the wall, then he told the banker to put all the money in the bag. He then walks up to a man, and said, "Did you see me rob this bank?" The man replies, "Yes." Bang, he shoots him. He gos to another man; "Did you see me rob this bank?" The man gives no answer, then the robber puts the gun up to his head and said, "Did you see me rob this bank?" "Yes," the man replies. The robber shoots him, then he goes up to the couple and once again said, "Did you see me rob this bank?" The man replies, "No, but my wife did."

Where people wait for buses. (the-bus-station)

Q: What did the Dallas chief of police say when the elephant walked into the police station? A: Nothing! He didn't notice.

Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

Paddy tells Mick he's thinking of buying a Labrador dog. "Oh, I wouldn't if I were you!", says Mick. "Have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"

yo mama is so fat when she jumped she fell through the ground!

Three men go on holiday abroad together. The tourist office informs them that there is only one hotel in town with vacancies. The guys go along there, only to be told by receptionist at the hotel that there is just one available room left in the hotel. They are not happy, but as it is their only option, they take the room for one evening and share its only bed. That night, they all enjoy a good night's sleep. In the morning, the guy on the right side of the bed says, "I dreamt I had the best wank last night." The guy on the left side says, "That's funny, I had the exact same dream!". The guy in the middle says, "I dreamt I was skiing."