What did one penny say to another penny? Let's get together and make cents

What are three two letter words for small? Is It In?

A young college co-ed came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!" "I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad. "You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble." "What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the state," he said. "there must be some mistake." "I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."

A man was stopped at a red light when a fantastic looking blonde pulled up beside him in a really hot Mustang convertible. Trying to start a conversation, the man asked, "Hey,..... how many horses you got under the hood?" The blonde looked at the man bewildered, and replied, "Well,.... there's one on the left side, one on the right side, ....... and oh yeah, there's one on the front of the car. I guess there's only three."

Yo momma so dumb she asked for a price check at the .99 cent store!

Why don't lobsters share? They're shellfish.

Yo mama's head so large she has to step into her shirts. Yo mama head is so big it shows up on radar. Yo mama's house is so dirty roaches ride around on dune buggies! Yo mama house so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside. Yo mama's teeth are so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles! Yo mama teeth are so yellow she spits butter. Yo mama's glasses so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving. Yo mama's glasses are so thick she can see into the future. Yo mama's house is so small that when she orders a large pizza she has to go outside to eat it. Yo mama's house so small you have to go outside to change your mind.

Yo mama so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed a whole episode off MTV's grand finale of Making the Van!

Q: Why could Long John Silver never find an aspirin? A: 'Cause his parrots ate them all.

I went into the kitchen, and there was a tap on the window. Not using that plumber again!

There was a lady that had a 3 year old son and one was coming on the way (she was pregnant). When the 3 year old asked his mother why her stomach was so big, she told him that it was just gas (she didn't want to give him a confusing explanation). The day that the baby was born, the 3 year old came up to the baby and said, "Hey, Fart!"

Teacher: "Can someone tell me three kinds of triangles? Yes, Jimmy?" Jimmy: "OK, so there's right, isosceles, and you, your husband, and the mailman." The class laughed. "OK, young man. Now you're going straight to the principal." said the teacher. And the principal laughed too.