Do you know what "Never say Never" sounds like ? its like your teacher at your classroom screaming at you and saying "don't say fuck in class!" Justin Bieber's mother often tells his friends stories of when he was little. The stories are from a few months ago. Who's that girl singing? Oh...Wait...Thats justin beiber I called Justin Bieber gay, and he slapped me with his purse. Yo Usher! Are you coming out tonight? -Nah I'm babysitting Justin Bieber! Justin Bieber always sings about girls... she must be a lesbian. Hey you guys are so mean to Justin, leave HER alone! Justin Bieber kept video of himself striping in YouTube, which caught the attention of gay manager and next day he became

The other day, I heard that a good friend of mine was outside during a thunderstorm and got struck by lightning. I was a bit shocked, but not as much as he was.

One day, Harry and Sarah were having a petty argument. After shouting back and forth, Sarah finally says, "Let's make a deal. To end this argument, you admit that I am right and I will admit that I am wrong." Harry thought for a moment, agreed, and asked her to go first. Sarah replied, "I'm sorry Harry, I am wrong." In response, Harry shouts happily, "You're right!"

"So what's your dog's name?" "I don't know. He won't tell me."

Why did the blond make a square pie? Because Pi(r) squared!

Give blood. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Go skateboarding.

There's a man with three daughters. The first daughter(a Brunette) comes up and says "Daddy why'd you name me Daisy" the dad says" 'cause when you were born a daisy fell on your head." The second daughter (a red-head) comes up and says "Daddy why'd you name me Rose" the dad says "'cause when you were born a rose fell on your head." The third daughter (a blonde) comes up and says "kjaglifvgjlfj" the dad says "SHUTUP CINDERBLOCK"

When everything's coming up roses, it's time to celebrate. But, when everything's coming up daisies, it's time to mourn.

There once was a small jokester called Joey, who was visting at his Grandpa's. Now Grandpa was rather short of temper, so after Joey had been standing in the doorway for 5 minutes, trying to decide whether or not to go outside, he said, ''Hurry up, now will you?'' Joey turned around and frowned. ''Keep your hair on,'' he grumbled. Seeing Grandpa's bald head, he giggled, ''Opps! To late!''

Isn't it scary that the word "therapist" is the same as the words "the" and "rapist" put together? Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another? On a telephone, why does ABC start on the number 2 and not 1? Do pigs pull ham strings? Do dumped farmers get John Deere letters? Why do radio operators say "niner" instead of just "nine"? Why do people say heads up when you should duck? Why did Superman wear his briefs on the outside of his tights? Does anyone actually kill two birds with one stone? Why do they call the clock where you punch your time card called a "time" clock? Aren't all clocks "time" clocks? Why does blow and suck mean the same thing when we describe something bei

The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two." Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes. He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."

Make sure you are in a public place with a lot of people around. Sniff the air a couple of times (make sure it is loud sniffs). Turn to you wife and say in a loud voice "Hey honey did you fart?!".