And God created woman and she had three breasts. God then asked the woman, "Is there anything you would like to have changed?" "Yes," the woman replied. "Could you get rid of this middle breast?" And so it was done. Holding the third breast in her hand, the woman exclaimed, "What can be done with this useless boob?" And God created man.

A policeman was rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. The doctors operated and informed him that all went well. However, he kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest. Concerned that there was a second surgery the doctors hadn't told him about, he finally mustered up the energy to pull his hospital gown down far enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable. Taped firmly across his hairy chest were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the type that doesn't come off easily. Written in large black letters was the sentence:- "Have a speedy recovery ... from the nurse you gave a ticket to last week."

In the hospital, a nurse is asking an old man what is his weight. The man is unsure about his weight so the nurse suggests that it is better if he check his weight now. He goes to the weighing scale and stands on it, then he goes back to the nurse. The nurse let him fill the form by himself. After he fills it, he gives it back to the nurse. When the nurse reads his weight, she is surprised that the man wrote, "82 kg - with glasses," there. The nurse asks the man, "Why must you write 'with glasses' there? I only ask for your weight. Why don't you write down your weight without the glasses?" "Because I can't read the scales and write without my glasses," the man replied.

100 Reasons Why It's Great To Be A Guy Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. Movie nudity is virtually always female. You know stuff about tanks. A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase. Monday Night Football. You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter. You can open all your own jars. Old friends don't give a crap whether you've lost or gained weight. Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind. When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at every shot of somebody crying. Your butt is never a factor in job interviews. All your orgasms are real. A beer gut doesn't make you invisible to the opposite s

This is a very long line that goes on and on and just when you think it is over it starts again going on and on but you know it cannot keep on forever until it starts repeating itself about being a very long line that goes on and on and just when you think it is over it starts repeating itself about not keeping going on and on forever but you know it was a very long line.

Louis was talking to his friend Pete. "There's nothing I wouldn't do for my Becky," he said, "and there's nothing Becky wouldn't do for me, and that's how we go through life - doing nothing for each other."

Why did the moron stare at frozen orange juice? Because it said 'concentrate.' Did you hear about the moron that got an AM radio? It took him a month to realize he could play it at night! What did the moron say when he put a quarter in the parking meter? Hey! Where is my gumball? Why did the moron tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills! How do you drown a moron? Put scratch-n-sniff stickers at the bottom of the pool! Why did the moron climb the glass wall? To see what was on the other side! Why can't morons dial 911? They can't find the 11 on the phone!

It was a blond's birthday, and to celebrate, he took his girlfriend out on a date; he dressed very nicely, in a tuxedo, sharp tie, and some nice soft pants. He went to his girlfriend, and said, "Do you have anything to say to me?" His girlfriend also a blonde, says, "Yeah, what up with the tie?"

These are quotes from the show SOUTH PARK. If you're a fan, you'll love this! They are the quotes of CARTMAN("the fat ass") Cartman: You so much as TOUCH kitty's ass, and I'll put a firecracker in your nutsack and blow your balls all over your pants. Stan: Jesus, Cartman. Cartman: Well, I'm just sayn', man, seriously, don't mess with kitty, man. Chief Running Water: Your mother is what we Indians call, 'Bear With Wide Canyon.' Cartman: What do you mean? CRW: She is 'Doe Who Cannot Keep Legs Together.' Cartman: Huh? CRW: Your mom's a slut. Kyle: Wow! That's a lot of seamen, Cartman. Cartman: Yeah, I bought all that I could at this bank, and then I got the rest from this guy Ralph in an

Yo momma's so ugly the bank had to turn its security cameras off when she came in.

wocka is dead. no one comments anymore. no one submits jokes anymore. Can someone fix these glitches?- -when I write a comment and click on submit, half the time, the comment is not posted no matter how many times I try to re-post. -Even if I select "show all" for the full comments list, the hidden comments dont show up. wtf? I'm sorry this IS the only way I can get some attention since the forum is a ghost town.

I just wrote this out of boredom. I do not care what you think. If you think this bad, I can't help but say, "Go fuck yourself". A couple had been fighting for quite a while. The husband is just craving for sex. One night when they're in bed: Husband: You know, it's fun. Wife: Huh? Husband: It's fun! Wife: What? What's up with you all of a sudden? What's fun? Husband: It's fun! Wife: What is? Husband: IT'S fun! Wife: Grrr. Fuck you! Husband: YEAH, THAT!