Popular Jokes
A woman and her lover are in bed, when there's a knock on the door.
She says, "It must be my husband! Ok, I'll handle this."
She grabs the trash bin, opens the door and, smiling sweetly, says to her husband, "Darling, please empty the trash."
While he is out, the other man escapes and walks back home.
He thinks, "She is sooo smart, unlike my wife."
He comes up to his door and knocks, his wife opens the door, and hands him the trash bin, saying, "Darling, please empty the trash bin."
He carries the basket, thinking, "What a stupid bitch! The whole damn day at home, and can't find some time to empty the trash!"
A person soon learns how little he knows when a child begins to ask questions.
Three gay guys where swiming in a pool, some white stuff floats to the top, and one of the gay guys screams, "Alright, who farted!"
A blonde is taking an interview, and the examiner is asking some general questions.
"What is the boiling temperature of water?"
"I am not sure."
"Miss, either you know it or you don't know it."
"No, I am still not sure."
"The boiling temperature of water is 100 degrees!"
"Ok, so it's the right angle that boils at 90 degrees?"
A man limped into a hospital to have his foot X-rayed, and was asked to wait for the results.
Some time later an orderly appeared and handed the man a large pill. Just then a mother with a small child in need of immediate attention entered.
After the orderly disappeared with the new patient, the man hobbled over to get a glass of water, swallow the pill, and sat down to wait. Some time later the orderly reappeared carrying a bucket of water.
"Okay," he said, "Just drop the pill in this bucket and soak your foot for a while."
A salesman was traveling through the countryside, flogging insect repellent. He came to a farmhouse and tried his pitch on the farmer.
"Sir, my bug spray is so good you will never be bitten again, I guarantee it."
The farmer was dubious.
"Young man, I'll make you a proposition. I'll tie you out in my cornfield buck naked, covered with that bug spray. If there is not a single bite on you come morning, I'll buy a whole case from you, and get everyone in the county to buy a case. We will make you rich."
The salesman was delighted. They went to the field and he stripped. The farmer sprayed him thoroughly with the bug spray and tied him to a stake.
Back to the house went the farmer.
The next m
Sleepy just ran back into the house after reading the newspaper and exclaimed, "Everyone! Everyone, the Pope is coming to town this weekend!" Grumpy replies, "Great! Now we can ask him the question!"
The weekend rolls around and they stand in line to speak to the pope, it's finally their turn and they send up Dopey and await for him to ask the Pope their question.
"Umm... Mr. Pope, do... Do they have nuns in Alaska?" asks Dopey. "Well, I do think so, yes they do, son," replied the Pope.
"Tell the rest tell the rest!" yelled the other 6 little annoying midgets. "Umm... do, do they have black nuns in Alaska?" asked Dopey.
"Well.. I don't see why they wouldn't, so yes, they do." replied the
1. You get mad when you don't find a fly in your soup.
2. You buy out the supply of wart removal cream in your drugstore constantly.
3. French chefs are eyeing your legs and appear to be following you.
4. Bug lamps appear to you as a curse.
5. On applications, you list 'Pond' as your home address.
6. Kermit is your idol.
7. You get mad whenever Miss Piggy makes a pass at Kermit.
8. Have seen the movie 'The Fly' at least ten times.
9. You live in fear that some day you will wind up in a child's aquarium.
10. France is the evil empire to you.
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