Popular Jokes
There is a very simple way to explain the theory of mind over matter.
Once you lose you mind, nothing matters.
Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened.
'So, how did you do, son?' he asked.
'You'll never believe it!' Billy said. 'I was responsible for the winning run!'
'Really? How'd you do that?'
'I dropped the ball.'
There was a farmer who grew watermelons, and every week he would check on his crop, and would find that the local kids had got into his field and eaten as many watermelons as they could.
This went on for some time, and eventually the man got fed up replacing the missing watermelons.
After some thought, he came up with an idea.
He made a sign and placed it in the field; the sign read, "Warning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide!" He feels pleased with himself, thinking that will stop the theft of his crop.
A couple of days later, he returns, and the watermelons are all there; but in the distance, he sees another sign.
He walks over to the sign, and reads, "No
A child custody case was held in court. The judge felt that the mother and father were both fit to be parents and therefore couldn't decide who he should grant full custody to. So he asks the little boy, "Would you like to live with your mother?"
"No," said the boy.
"Why not?" said the judge.
"Because she beats me."
The judge says, "Okay, then you'll go live with your father."
"Oh, no," cried the boy, "he beats me too."
Dumbfounded, the judge asks "Okay, who do you want to live with?"
"I want to live with the New York Yankees."
"Why?" asks the judge.
"They don't beat anybody."
The veterinarian told the blonde that her dog needed some exercise.
"You need to make sure this dog runs around," the doctor said. "Try playing a game of fetch with him."
"I can't play fetch with my dog," the blonde said.
"Why not?" the doctor asked.
"Because," she replied, "he can't throw."
Yo mamma is so bald
Yo mamma so bald even a wig wouldn't help!
Yo mamma so bald you can see what's on her mind
Yo mamma so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed.
A lone tourist who is passing through the suburbs on the way to town by car, unfortunately experiences mechanical problems with the automobile. The car stalls and the tourist parks the car by the side of the road and waits for help.
Not much later, a farmer happens to pass by with a truck full of farm animals. The farmer offers the tourist a lift to town and proceeds to explain that he is bringing his farm animals to the town market, where they will be auctioned off to the highest bidders.
Well, it so happens that on the way to the town, the farmer being so engrossed in his story, unintentionally wanders into the other side of road where another vehicle is approaching in the other direct
- Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
- A day without sunshine is like...night.
- On the other hand, you have different fingers
- 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
- 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- Remember, half the people you know are below average.
- He who laughs last thinks slowest.
- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
- Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
- If you think nobody cares, try m
Why do they call it "drug abuse" when the person "abusing the drugs" then ends up with half of his brain being rendered useless?
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