No Smoking Prohibited Slow Children Warning: corners of sign are sharp A Street Downtown 1 Quarter Mile No Parking 2am-5am (right underneath that sign) 2 Hour parking 9am-6pm (right underneath that sign) 15 minute parking 8am-5pm Caution- water on road during rain Airplane Crossing Bear Bottom Drive Emergency telephone 174 km ahead Road hump ahead Tank Xing

How can a person living in Minnesota be buried in Milwaukee?

A man was walking along the beach when he saw bottle. Curious, he picked it up and was wiping the sand off it when out came a genie. "I will grant you three wishes," said the genie. The man couldn't believe it. "First, I want ten million dollars in a Swiss bank account." Poof! The genie handed the man a piece of paper with his account information on it. "Next, I want to be the smartest man in the world." Poof! The man instantly became smart. "Now, I want to be irresistible to women." Poof! The man was changed into a huge box of chocolates.

Mike and Joe, two buddies, were talking when Joe asked, "Hey Mike, do you have a rake?" "No," Mike replied. Joe questioned, "Well, then will ask your sister to come to my house this weekend to help with something?" Mike, even though he thought this was a strange request, consented, and later talked his sister into it. That weekend, Mike, overcome with curiosity, drove to Joe's. Joe called out that he and Mike's sister were in the back yard. After walking around, Mike saw Joe holding Mike's sister updide down by her toes and pushing and pulling her through Joe's flower garden. Obviously shocked, Mike yelled in surprise, "What the heck do you think you are doing?" Calml

HWAYETRDETIPZLHV OMNLTESOSHSUZEAE 32. Reading one letter from the top row and then one from the bottom row, the puzzle reads: 'How many letters does this puzzle have'.

Meteorologists - People who tell something wrong and still get paid.

Q: What do you get when you cross an anteater and a monkey? A: I haven't a goddamn clue.

In favour of youth. (pro-teen)

"What's the difference between Honecker and a telephone? None! Hang up and try again."

Q: What has eight legs, two trunks, four eyes, and two tails? A: Two elephants.

Honest to God true story. Wife (yelling from upstairs): Honey, I'm naked and the dog is loose in the front yard! Husband (downstairs): Hold on, I'll be right up! She didn't appreciate the humor.

I just wrote this out of boredom. I do not care what you think. If you think this bad, I can't help but say, "Go fuck yourself". A couple had been fighting for quite a while. The husband is just craving for sex. One night when they're in bed: Husband: You know, it's fun. Wife: Huh? Husband: It's fun! Wife: What? What's up with you all of a sudden? What's fun? Husband: It's fun! Wife: What is? Husband: IT'S fun! Wife: Grrr. Fuck you! Husband: YEAH, THAT!