Popular Jokes
These are quotes from the show SOUTH PARK. If you're a fan, you'll love this! They are the quotes of CARTMAN("the fat ass")
Cartman: You so much as TOUCH kitty's ass, and I'll put a firecracker in your nutsack and blow your balls all over your pants.
Stan: Jesus, Cartman.
Cartman: Well, I'm just sayn', man, seriously, don't mess with kitty, man.
Chief Running Water: Your mother is what we Indians call, 'Bear With Wide Canyon.'
Cartman: What do you mean?
CRW: She is 'Doe Who Cannot Keep Legs Together.'
Cartman: Huh?
CRW: Your mom's a slut.
Kyle: Wow! That's a lot of seamen, Cartman.
Cartman: Yeah, I bought all that I could at this bank, and then I got the rest from this guy Ralph in an
As of 11-23-09, my score was 1337.
How the hell that happened beats me.
I thought I was a crappy joke writer.
This is boring isn't it?
Thought so.
At least it's not a dupe.
Or is it...
Nope, it's not.
Boring as hell, right?
Thought so.
A blond was seen walking in a local mall wearing nothing but shoes, a shirt and nothing else.'
When security stopped her and asked her what she thought she was doing, She replied, "I saw a sign that said take half off and save money."
Do you know what "Never say Never" sounds like ? its like your teacher at your classroom screaming at you and saying "don't say fuck in class!"
Justin Bieber's mother often tells his friends stories of when he was little. The stories are from a few months ago.
Who's that girl singing? Oh...Wait...Thats justin beiber
I called Justin Bieber gay, and he slapped me with his purse.
Yo Usher! Are you coming out tonight? -Nah I'm babysitting Justin Bieber!
Justin Bieber always sings about girls... she must be a lesbian.
Hey you guys are so mean to Justin, leave HER alone!
Justin Bieber kept video of himself striping in YouTube, which caught the attention of gay manager and next day he became
Breaking News! Daisy the Dalmation is entering the presidential election along with Mitt Romney and Barack Obama.Right now we are going to hear her campaign speech.
" Voting for your next president will be very difficult to chose so let me make it easier. You can vote for the white guy or the black guy. You vote for me you get both.!"
The other day, I heard that a good friend of mine was outside during a thunderstorm and got struck by lightning.
I was a bit shocked, but not as much as he was.
Little Johnnie was late for class, and when he saw that the door was already closed, he opened it and went into the classroom tentatively. He very quietly shut the door and tiptoed to his seat hoping not to get the teacher after him.
This upset the teacher, who said him, "Johnnie, is this how your father would have come in - late and sneaking to his seat? Go out and try it again, and get it right this time!"
So, Little Johnnie left the room and shut the door behind him quietly, as he'd come in. Then a moment later, he flung open the door with a clatter and stomped back into the room with a lit cigarette dangling from his lips. He slammed the door behind him, put his cigarette out on the
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"??
Respect leadership hierarchy wisely
A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speed boat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.
In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The mana
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