Popular Jokes
People always say that hard work never killed anybody. Oh yeah?
When's the last time ya ever heard of anyone who "rested to death?"
Did you hear about the thieves that broke into the United Jewish Appeal offices?
They got away with over a million dollars in pledges!
If you do not want to say you're a guy, do not read this joke. (I do not know if this is funny)
Instructions: At the end of each sentence say "I'm a Guy"
You meet this hot girl.
(I'm a Guy)
You ask her out.
(I'm a Guy)
You take her to the movies.
(I'm a Guy)
You buy her popcorn.
(I'm a Guy)
She asks you over.
(I'm a Guy)
When she closes the door she whispers in your ear.
I'M A GUY!!!!!!!!!
Going home on the bus one evening a man was whiling away the time by doing a crossword.
Three more men got on the bus at the next stop, and as they passed, one said, "If it's any help to you, 7 Up is lemonade."
Mike, a 3-year-old, proudly walked into the kitchen of his house carrying a caterpillar. However, his mother was disgusted and wanted Mike to take it outside.
"Mike, his mother is probably looking for him. Why don't you take him outside?" said the mother.
Three minutes later, Mike was back. "Look mommy!" he said, showing his mother two caterpillars. "I got his mommy too!"
Maria went to the telephone booth to make her second insult call. She payed the telephone booth owner. Then she dialed: ABC-DEF-GHI. "Hello! May I take your order, please?" the Figaro delivery service said. "I want to order all the kinds of sushi you have, and please don't forget the chopsticks." Maria replied. "Looks like we have another insult call."
How do you know if you have the swine flu?
You wake up in pigtails and then break out in rashers!
"What I saw, it was burned into my mind forever."
"Well, that explains the red markings on your scalp."
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