What a bullfighter tries to do. (avoid-a-bull)

At an Orthodox wedding, the bride's mother is pregnant. At a Conservative wedding, the bride is pregnant. At a Reform wedding, the rabbi is pregnant. At a Reconstructionist wedding, the rabbi and her wife are both pregnant.

In America, you can always find a party. In Russia, the Party finds you. In America, you listen to man on radio. In Soviet Russia, man on radio listen to you. In America, you watch television. In Soviet Russia, television watches you.

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that....... * she called me to get my phone number. * she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate." * she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind. *she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order. *she sent me a fax with a stamp on it. *she tried to drown a fish. *she thought a quarterback was a refund. *she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death. *she tripped over a cordless phone. *she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. *she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store. *she studied for a blood test. *she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats. *when she heard that 90% o

A waiter on a ship said to a boarding lion "sir, do you want anything of the chef's special?" The lion said "nah..I'll look at the passenger list,though!"

Two guys are eating a hamburger at a fast food place. 1st Guy- Does your hamburger taste funny? 2nd Guy- No just yours. Mine doesn't have a sense of humor.

There were three blondes in the forest and they saw some tracks. The first blonde said, "Look, bear tracks." The second blonde said, "No, stupid, those are wolf tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are rabbit tracks." Then the train came and ran them all over.

Which is heavier, 20 pounds of rocks or 20 pounds of sugar? Their both 20 pounds! doy!

Russian Roulette, by Hugo First

Teacher: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. Willy: Me

Have you heard about the blonde that started writing a diary of all her thoughts? Yes, after 3 years she is on the second page now.

A father, angry at his son for not doing well at school tells him, "At your age, George Washington was the best student in his class." "Yeah dad..." replies the kid..."and at yours, he was the President of the United States!"