Popular Jokes
A man was searching the dictionary for the word 'Dictionary'. He found this meaning: Dictionary is the thing you are holding, Stupid. Wondering what the definition of stupid was, he searched for the word stupid, he found: Is that you again?
Q: What does a blonde do when it gets cold?
A: Sits around a candle
Q: What does she do when it gets really cold?
A: Lights it
A blonde, a brunette, and a red head were swimming the breast stroke in a race. The blonde comes in last and says "Not to be a sore loser or anything, but I think the other girls were using their hands.".
Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill. "Here's that $20 I owe you," he says.
Sven & Ole, a couple of Norwegians now living in Minnesota, head for the fair in Duluth. The first thing to catch Sven's eye is the big double Ferris wheel.
"Oh, Ole," he says, "vould you look at dat. I've always vanted to go on von of dose big Ferris veels. Let's go ride on dat von."
Ole, not being near as adventurous as Sven says, "Oh, I don't tink so. Dat looks kind of dangerous to me." "Vell," says Sven, "you give me yust von good reason vhy you von't go vit me on dat ride."
Ole couldn't come up with a good reason so up they went. Ole had to admit after the ride that it was kind of fun.
After another 10 or 15 minutes they came to the roller coaster. "Oh Ole," says Sven, "Voul
There was this guy in the mental institute who was taking his medicine that the nurse gave him.
The same nurse was walking past his room and saw him shaking very vigorously.
Intrigued, the nurse asked,"Dear patient, why are you shaking? Are you cold?"
Still shaking, the patient replied, "No, my dear nurse, the bottle of medicine you gave me said 'shake before drinking' but I forgot to shake!"
"Oh dear."
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