Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Star Trek... The Lost Episode --------------------------------------------------------- Recent reports of a lost episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation have finally been confirmed. And now, for your reading pleasure, we are proud to present the entire transcript. Enjoy! --------------------------------------------------------- The crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise have encountered the Borg. Picard: "Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to access their command pathway?" Geordi: "Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching through our archives on late Twentieth-century comp

Jenny: How did the turtle cross the freeway? Forrest: I don't know. Jenny: Take the 'r' out of 'free'. Now, take the 'f' out of 'way'. Forrest: There's no 'f' in way!

I'm a nobody and nobody is perfect - therefore, I am perfect.

Q: What do you get when you cross an anteater and a monkey? A: I haven't a goddamn clue.

Why do you go to a black person's yard sale? To get your stuff back!

Yo momma so fat, that when she went on Biggest Loser, she she couldn't get kicked out when she destroyed the stage.

I hear there's now a sine flu as well. Someone on the news was going off on a tangent about it.

Consumption of an expensive meal. (fortune-ate)

A flaming elf. (imp-alight)

where one places dirty dishes (in the sink)

In favour of youth. (pro-teen)