Popular Jokes
yo momma is so fat, she put on a disney shirt and mickey mouse got diabetes.
yo momma is so ugly, she makes blind people cry.
yo momma is so fat, she has to hire people to look at her toes.
yo momma is so fat, when God said let there be light, he had to ask her to move out of the way.
yo momma is so stupid, she failed a blood test.
Two guys are eating a hamburger at a fast food place.
1st Guy- Does your hamburger taste funny?
2nd Guy- No just yours. Mine doesn't have a sense of humor.
A couple go to an agricultural show way out in the countryside a fine Sunday afternoon, and are watching the auctioning off of reproduction bulls.
The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off: "A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 60 times last year."
The wife nudges her husband in the ribs, and comments: "See! That was more than 5 times a month!"
The second bull is to be sold: "Another fine specimen, this wonder reproduced 120 times last year."
Again the wife bugs her husband: "Hey, that's some 10 times a month. What do YOU say to that?!" Her husband is getting really annoyed with this comparison.
The third bull is up for sale: "And this extraordinary spe
The newspaper obituary operator received a phone call. The woman on the other end asked, "How much do funeral notices cost?"
"Five dollars per word, ma'am," came the response.
"Good, do you have a paper and pencil handy?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Okay, write this: 'Cohen died.' "
"I'm sorry, ma'am, I forgot to tell you there's a five-word minimum."
"Hmmph," came the reply. "You certainly did forget to tell me that." After a moment of silence, the woman continued, "Got your pencil and paper?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Okay, print this: 'Cohen died. Cadillac for sale.' "
Top 10 Summer Camps you should not send your kids to:
10. Tommy Lee's---------- Camp Kickachickee
9. Lorena Bobbit's------ Camp Cutaweewee
8. Tanya Harding's------ Camp Wackaneenee
7. Kenneth Star's------- Camp Catchacrookee
6. Louis Farakahn's----- Camp Killawhitey
5. O.J. Simpson's------- Camp Killachickee
4. Michael Jackson's---- Camp Wannabewhitey
3. President Clinton's-----Camp Getahoochie
2. Ellen Degeneras's-------Camp Lickacoochie
And the number one camp not to send your kid to:
1. Monica Lewinsky's---- Camp Suckapeepee
These two eggs had just been married and were on their honeymoon. While they were sitting on the bed making out, the female egg pushed the male egg away and said, "I just have to go to the bathroom. I'll be back in a minute." and off she went.
Five minutes later, the male egg saw his sexy wife walk out in a slinky negligee, wiping her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body.
Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the top of his head, covering it completely.
The female egg looked at him and asked what he was doing.
He replied, "The last time I was this hard, someone cracked me on the head with a spoon!"
A man is passing a blonde and he says, "Where are those legs going?" and the blonde answers, "They are going home for now unless something comes between them."
Reporters interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.
She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
There were four blondes sitting on the bank of a river, each with a fishing pole intently concentrating on the task at hand.
A Game Warden drove by and saw the four women fishing and decided to check for the proper fishing licenses and equipment.
He approached the women and told them he needed to check for their fishing licenses and to his surprise, they all replied they did not have one.
However, before the Warden could speak, one of the women spoke up and said, "Mr. Warden, sir, we are not fishing for you normal catch. We are environmentalist ridding the waters of garbage and other debris."
"We are not fishing for fish." said one of the others.
"We have poles, yes," another woman
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