Yo momma so ugly they renamed "Halloween" "Yo-momma-ween".

yo momma is so ugly when she passed a horror movie filming the camera man said "Hey! No breaks, get back on set."

Me and my friend were IMing and it was like this... Me:BRB Him: kake Me:heh Him:I LIKE KAKE Me:i like 3.1415926535 Him:Pi >:0

There were cockroaches in the corner of a hotel when four people saw it and reacted differently. The hotel manager saw the cockroaches, and said "Can somebody please clean these up? It's ruining my hotel." A customer saw it and said "Don't the hotel facilities know how to maintain this hotel clean and free of gross creatures? I'm out of here." A movie star saw it and said "Eeewww, crochy! Go away!" Then a beggar outside saw it and said "Is that dinner? For me?"

A fashionably dressed big cat (dandy lion)

Ole goes out one day to use the outhouse, and he finds Sven there. Sven has his wallet out, and he's throwing money down into the hole of the outhouse. Ole asks, "Uff da! Sven, watcha doin' there, fella? You're throwing the five dollar bill and the ten dollar bill down into the hole of the outhouse! Whatcha doin' that for?" Sven answers, "Well, when I pulled up my trousers I dropped a nickel down there—and I'm not going down into that mess for just a nickel!"

Take my wife – please!

The phone rings, Brezhnev picks up the phone: "Hello, this is dear Leonid Ilyich...".

Why did the Japanese steal the Diaoyu Islands? Because they don't have enough room for their funny farms!

Yo moma so fat and retarded that she thinks shes skinny.

Yo Mama is so FAT that when she turned around,it was her birhtday!

yo momma is so fat, she put on a disney shirt and mickey mouse got diabetes. yo momma is so ugly, she makes blind people cry. yo momma is so fat, she has to hire people to look at her toes. yo momma is so fat, when God said let there be light, he had to ask her to move out of the way. yo momma is so stupid, she failed a blood test.