Why isn't God helping us? Some people ask this question. Well, here's an answer. Billy Graham's daughter was being interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her "How could God let something like this happen?" Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said "I believe that God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman that He is, I believe that He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand that He leave us alone?" I know there's been a

Real friends are those who, when you think you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel you've done a permanent job.

JCPenny blowdryer: do not use while sleeping ********** caution: hot chocolate may be hot **********

Little Bobby had been searching through a stationer's stock of greeting cards for some time when a clerk asked, "Just what is it you're looking for? A birthday greeting, message to a sick friend? An anniversary, or a congratulations to your mom and dad?" Little Bobby shook his head and answered, "No. Er...got any blank report cards?"

As a court clerk, I am well-versed in the jury-selection process. First a computer randomly selects a few hundred citizens from the entire county to report for jury duty on a particular day. Then another computer assigns 40 of those present to a courtroom. Then the 40 names are placed in a drum, and a dozen names are pulled. During jury selection for one trial, the judge asked potential Juror No. 1 if there was any reason he could not be a fair and impartial juror. "There may be," he replied. "Juror No. 12 is my ex-wife, and if we were on the same jury, I guarantee we would not be able to agree on anything." Both were excused.

Dear God, The bad people laughed at Noah - "You made an ark on dry land, you fool". But he was smart, he stuck with You. That's what I would do. – Eddie Dear God, I do not think anybody could be a better God. Well, I just want You to know but I am not just saying that because You are God already. – Charles Dear God, I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset You made on Tuesday. That was cool! – Eugene Dear God, In Sunday School they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation? – Jane Dear God, I read the Bible. What does begat mean? Nobody will tell me. Love, Allison Dear God, Are you really invisible or is that a trick? – Lucy

Speak your mind out when you're angry. You'll make the best speech you'll ever live to regret.

One day, a six year old blonde came up to her mother and said: "When I grow up, I want to be a Hillary Duff, she's amazing!" lol, only a blonde would say that.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the other side! Why did the Mexican Chicken cross the Border? To get to the U.S.

Did you hear about the blonde who went shopping for lip-gloss just so she could pass the make-up exam?

Online dating is huge now. Everyone from EHarmony to Match.com have been benefitting from the surge in personals. But impersonal nature of online personals need a little clarifying. Below you'll find a guide to better enable yourself "Find That Special Someone" Female Beautiful Bulgarian girl = I need a green card Beautiful Ukranian girl = I need a green card Beautiful Romanian girl = I need a green card....possibly a gypsy I love doing yoga and running with my dog = a really good lay Athletic = No tits Spends too much time at work / Work Hard = I'm cheating on you and we haven't even met Beautiful = Pathological liar Contagious Smile = Takes a lot of pills Emotionally Secure = On medicati

A son asked his mother the following question: "Mum, why are wedding dresses white?" The mother replies, "Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure." The son thanks his Mum and goes off to double-check this with his father. "Dad, why are wedding dresses white?" The father says, "Son, all household appliances come in white."