What kind of shoes do you wear to the beach? SANDals!

A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job. The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?" The mathematician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says, "Yes, four, exactly." Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says, "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four." Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the inte

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer? A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.

Nicholaas (toe 4) het by sy ouma gaan kuier, en ouma het dit goed gedink om hom bietjie groentes te leer eet wat sy ma nie graag gaar maak nie. Die spesifieke dag is broccoli aan die beurt, en ouma versin die oulikste stories oor die boompies wat hy gaan proe. Hy begin ewe entosiasties aan die eerste een eet, maar ouma sien hy kou al stadiger en kry so veraf trek in sy ogies. "Ouma," roep hy toe sy ouma wat intussen in die spens verdwyn het, "kom kyk hier!" Die mannetjie beduie toe na sy bord waar hy die laaste "boompie" staan gemaak het, mooi vasgedruk in die middel van die rys. "Kyk net, hierdie is die Paradys, en daardie boom is die boom waarvan God gesê het ons mag nie eet nie!"

"I love you" is eight letters, but so is "bull shit."

East to the Sea, West to the Land, Death to the B***h that touches my Man.

Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and >>take >>them to their separate hotel >>rooms. >> >>The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His >>depression >>is made worse by the fact that, >>from the next room, he hears his little friend shouting out cries >>of >>"Here I come again ... ONE, TWO, >>THREE... UUH!" all night long. >> >>In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, "How did it go?" >>The first mutters, "It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn't get >>an >>erection." >> >>The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassi

What do you get when a dinosuar stubs its toe? A: Stubasaurus

What did the director say after making the Mummy Movie? "It's a Wrap!"

Yo momma's so fat, she sneezed and caused a hurricane!

How come only car keys are the only keys with teeth on both sides? Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? Why is it the TWELVE days of Christmas when there is only one day of Christmas? When something's funny why is it called a "knee-slapper" when you actually slap your thigh? Why is it that when babies are born they only weigh like 7 lbs yet the mom weighs 30 lbs more? Since a running back runs forward, why is he called a running back? If you die and you have a broken leg do they take the cast off? Is sign language the same in languages other than English? Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number? Why do they call the small candy bars the "fun siz

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