Popular Jokes
Santa:Oye, you know once, when I was very young, I jumped from the 20th floor of a building.
Banta: Then what happened? Did you survived or die?
Santa replied: "Oye, I forgot, that was years ago".
A drunk lay slumped outside a bar, in serious need of a drink.
A passing priest and bishop started to lecture him on the evils of alcohol.
"You should be more like God, like me," said one.
The other argued, "No, my son, more like me. I am more like God."
The two holy men then argued over which was more like God.
Finally, the drunk interrupted. "I'm more like God than either of you arguing hypocrites, and if you give me ten bucks, I'll prove it!"
They accepted his challenge and each handed him five dollars. As the drunk stood, he said, "You two go sit in the bar and when I enter you'll have your proof." The bishop entered first and the barkeep said, "Good afternoon, Bishop, what'll you have?
Men can live without air for a few minutes, without water for a few days, without food for about two months, and without new thoughts for years on end.
Your momma's teeth are so yellow, that when she opened her mouth, a black guy said "nice grillz!"
Your momma's so fat 'n hairy that when she went to the mueseum someone yelled "the mammoth's alive!"
Your momma's so hairy that when she was on the set of king kong, the director said "I thought I only ordered 1 gorrila!"
Your momma's so old and gassy that when she farted the dinasours became extinct!
Your momma's so stupid that they invented the books for dummys just for her!
Your momma's so skinny that god used her to clean his teeth!
Your momma's so ugly that when she stepped out of her house, people ran away saying "I didn't know they were shooting a horror movie here!"
Your momma's s
A boy comes home from school saying, "3rd grade math has way bigger numbers than 2nd grade!"
His dad replies, "Don't worry, when you start getting a paycheck they get smaller again."
Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large, raging violent river. Needing to get on the other side, the first man prayed, "God, please give me the strength to cross the river."
Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.
After witnessing that, the second man prayed, "God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river."
Poof! God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.
Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed, "God, please give me the strength, the tools and the in
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
Seven-year-old Timmy had been the center of his parents' lives up until the time his new baby sister came along. He found it very difficult to share their attention and was becoming more and more jealous.
When his little sister was a year old, his parents took him aside and told him that since she was getting bigger, their house was too small, so they would be moving to a bigger house.
"Why bother," Timmy grumbled, "She's crawling good now, so she'll probably just follow us."
I Found this on another website, it is soooo true =D
You call your dog Shinji and your cat Neko.
You perform a canon ball dive into a pool while yelling "Spirit Bomb!"
Your house has an anime room.
You and your friends flash peace signs and take girlish poses when you are happy.
You get an anime tattoo. Even though you're scared of needles.
Your walls are covered in wall scrolls and posters from your favorite series.
If you use the term 'Kawaii' for describing everything.
You try to convince your girlfriend that 'cat ears' and 'tail' really looks good on them.
You can sing songs from your favorite shows, in Japanese, even though you don't speak Japanese...
You spent hours l
There are a lot of words you can use to describe men -strong, caring, loving.
They'd be wrong, but you could still use them.
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