Popular Jokes
I seen a commercial on T.V for a pill that helps with ED (erectile deficency). As one of the side effects the announcer said "If you experience an erection for longer than four hours call your doctor." I thought call my doctor?? If I have an erection for more than four hours I am calling Ripley's Believe it or Not!!.
In a recent On-line poll 38,562 men across the UK were asked to identify a woman's ultimate fantasy. 98.8% of the respondents said that a woman's ultimate fantasy is to have two men at once.
While this has been verified by a recent sociological study, it appears that most men do not realize that in this fantasy, one man is cooking and the other is cleaning.
The blondes at the university were tired of not fitting in. They were tired of other students assuming they were just stupid bimbos. They wanted somewhere where they felt they belonged.
So they pressured the administration to set up a new Department especially for them. The university agreed, and set up the Blonde Education Department.
The blondes were ecstatic to have a department of their own where they could gather without being ridiculed. They felt they really belonged now.
They wanted other students to see that they weren't just stupid bimbos - after all, they now had their own department at the university.
They now all proudly wear the official sweatshirt of the Blonde Education De
My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.
Their Disney password was "GoofyMickeyMinniePluto" and I asked why it was so long.
"Because," my son explained, "they said it had to have at least four characters."
Beans, beans, good for the heart.
The more you eat, the more you fart.
The more you fart, the better you feel.
So eat some beans with every meal.
Announcing the new Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge device, otherwise known as the BOOK.
It's a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use even a child can operate it. Just lift its cover. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere - even sitting in an armchair by the fire - yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disk.
Here's how it works: each BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. These pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder which
Sadly I will never be able to join a nudist colony..=[
My mother always told me not to point!! =]
Many many years ago when I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow who was as pretty as could be.
This widow had a grown up daughter,
Who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
And soon the two were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law,
And changed my very life;
My daughter was my mother,
For she was my father's wife.
To complicate the matters worse,
Although it brought me pride and joy,
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.
My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.
For if he is my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown up daughter
Who, of course, was my step mother.
Father's wife t
Dear Pastor, I would like to go to heaven some day because I know my brother won't be there. Stephen. Age 8, Chicago
Dear Pastor, I think a lot more people would come to your church if you moved it to Disneyland. Loreen. Age 9. Tacoma
Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon where you said that good health is more important than money but I still want a raise in my allowance. Sincerely, Eleanor. Age 12, Sarasota
Dear Pastor, Please pray for all the airline pilots. I am flying to California tomorrow. Laurie. Age 10, New York City
Dear Pastor, I hope to go to heaven some day but later than sooner. Love, Ellen, age 9. Athens
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