If you'd like to know how to keep an idiot busy for hours, go to this page: http://www.wocka.com/joke.php?id=17559

We were married by a Reform rabbi in Long Island. A very Reform rabbi. A Nazi.

"It would be funny if, while performing an abortion, someone yelled 'abort! abort!'"

A man, standing before a censor, is about to testify, whether he has a wife. The censor asks: -Do you have, in all your honesty, a wife? -I surely do, but not in all my honesty.

What is red, black, has ten eyes, and crawls? I do not know but it is on your head.

It was really hot last summer. In fact, it was so hot I saw a republican with his head out of his ass.

My doctor says I have insomnia, but I'm not going to lose any sleep over it.

One fine day.... you're just walking by.... You look at this bird.... it shits in your eye.... You don't swear.... you don't cry.... You just thank God.... that cows don't fly....

Guide - I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. This is the world's biggest waterfall and the sound intensity of the waterfalls is so high that even 20 supersonic jet planes passing by cannot be heard. Now, I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagara Falls!

Music student: We played the beatles last night! Gym student:who won?

yo momma is so fat, she put on a disney shirt and mickey mouse got diabetes. yo momma is so ugly, she makes blind people cry. yo momma is so fat, she has to hire people to look at her toes. yo momma is so fat, when God said let there be light, he had to ask her to move out of the way. yo momma is so stupid, she failed a blood test.

During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the wheel. "Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside. "Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "Yours is."