Here are a few things to think about that you probably have never thought about; Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they "slept lik

Yo momma is so big, that when she farts, she destroys the ozone layer above her!

There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing. On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport. During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, "Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!" After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, "Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!" And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, "Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!" The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet, as this went on for quite a number of cars. Finally, the taxi ca

Knock Knock! Who's There? Radio. Radio Who? Radio not, here I come!

"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." - Jeff Valdez "Managing senior programmers is like herding cats." - Dave Platt "There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." – Unknown "In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats." - English proverb "As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat." - Ellen Perry Berkeley "One cat just leads to another." - Ernest Hemmingway "Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later." - Mary Bly "People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life." - Faith Resnick "There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats." – Anonymous

Are part-time band leaders semiconductors? If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe? Does killing time damage eternity? Daylight savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it? Do pilots in a hurry take crash-courses? How do you get off a nonstop flight?

Fe Fe Fe \ | / Fe --*-- Fe / | \ Fe Fe Fe A ferris wheel

A blonde bought a new car that has a computer which can fix the car when anything happens. So she went and blew the engine and the computer said, "In the name of the manufacturer, get fixed," and it was fixed. Then she broke the window and the computer said, "In the name of the manufacturer, get fixed," and it was fixed. Then she said to herself "It's time for the ultimate test," and she jumped from the bridge and the computer said, "In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, amen."

A man died and went to heaven, he went to the golden gates, and saw God. He didn't know who God was, so he took one look and said, "My god, Who the hell are you?"

A woman was taking a shower when the doorbell rang, so she put on a towel and answered it. It's her neighbor Bob. Now, Bob has this huge crush on her, but she's already married. Bob says to her, "If you drop your towel, I will give you $5,000." She is thinking that she could use the money, so she says yes, drops the towel, gets her money, and pulls her towel back up. Her husband comes along and asks, "Who was that?" She replied that it was Bob. The man saw the money in her hand and said, "Finally, Bob repaid us that $5,000 he owed us!"

The musician Ted Nugent was being interviewed by a British radio show, and the liberal presenter was giving him a hard time about being a deer hunter. "What do you think is going through that deer's head when you kill it?" she asks. "Don't you think it is wondering what it ever did to harm you, and why you are being so cruel?" "No," replied Nugent, "I don't think their thoughts are that complex. A deer only wonders when it will eat next, when it will have sex next, and if it is fast enough to run away from whoever would harm it. In that way, they really aren't much different from the French."

The following are actual questions written to pastors from children across the world. Dear Pastor, Please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need God's help or a new pitcher. Thank you. Alexander. Age 10, Raleigh Dear Pastor, My father says I should learn the Ten Commandments, but I don't think I want to because we have enough rules already in my house. Joshua. Age 10, South Pasadena Dear Pastor, Who does God pray to? Is there a God for God? Sincerely, Christopher. Age 9, Titusville Dear Pastor, Are there any devils on earth? I think there may be one in my class. Carla. Age 10, Salina Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon on Sunday. Especially when it was finished. Ralph, Age 11, Ak