We rated with RSAC i, TM Safe Surf Rated.

Yo momma's so old, I slapped her back and her tits fell off.

I was traveling back to my hometown and, responding to Mother Nature, decided to stop at one of those rest areas on the side of the road. I went into the washroom. The first stall was taken, so I went into the second stall. I had just sat down when I heard a voice from the other stall. "Hi there, how is it going?" I am not the type to strike up conversations with strangers while sitting on the john in restrooms on the side of the road. I didn't know what to do, but finally I said, "Not bad." Then the voice said, "So, what are you doing?" At this point, I was starting to find the situation a bit weird, but I said, "Well, I'm headed back east." Then I heard the person, all flustere

One day a man spotted a lamp by the roadside. He picked it up, rubbed it vigorously, and a genie appeared. "I'll grant you your fondest wish," the genie said. The man thought for a moment, then said, "I want a spectacular job -- a job that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever even dared try." "Poof!" said the genie. "You're a housewife."

Because an increasing number of people are having heart attacks while gambling, the big, high-class casinos are now equipped with sophisticated defibrillators. They are computer-controlled to deliver the exact electric shock needed to revive a heart attack victim. That is, if you're at a big, high-class casino. At the cheaper casinos downtown, they just drag you across the carpet and touch your finger to the doorknob.

If men and women had buttons, a man's button panel would look like... A vacuum - "On" and "Off" switch A woman's panel would look like... An airplane. So many buttons...ahhh...where's the mute?!!!

Normal people believe that "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Engineers believe that "If it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet"

Why did the poor dog chase his tail? He was trying to make ends meet!

A famous professor of surgery died and went to heaven. At the pearly gate he was asked by the gatekeeper: 'Have you ever committed a sin you truly regret?' 'Yes,' the professor ansvered. 'When I was a young candidate at the hospital of Saint Lucas, we played soccer against at team from the Community Hospital, and I scored a goal, which was off-side. But the referee did not see it so, and the goal won us the match. I regret that now.' 'Well,' said the gatekeeper. 'That is a very minor sin. You may enter.' 'Thank you very much, Saint Peter,' the professor ansvered. 'I am not Saint Peter,' said the gatekeeper. 'He is having his lunchbreak. I am Saint Lucas.'

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer dial to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure a

Four married guys go golfing on Sunday. During the 3rd hole the following conversation ensued: First Guy: "Man, you have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend." Second Guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool." Third Guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her." They continue to play the hole when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they ask him. "You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What's th

A unit of soldiers was marching a long dusty march across the rolling prairie. It was a blisteringly hot day and the men, longing for water and rest, were impatient to reach the next town. A rancher rode past. "Say, friend," called out one of the men, "how far is it to the next town?" "Oh, a matter of two miles or so, I reckon," called back the rancher. Another long hour dragged by, and another rancher was encountered. "How far to the next town?" the men asked him eagerly. "Oh, a good two miles." A nearly half hour longer of marching, and then a third rancher. "Hey, how far's the next town?" "Not far," was the encouraging answer, "only about two miles." "Well," sighed the opt