SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark? FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write? SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.

1. How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one. 2. How many Candains does it take to change a lightbulb? One to whack it out with his hockey stick, and one to screw in the new one. 3. How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? One to screw it in, 2 to support him, and 1 to disagree with his lightbulb approach. 4. How many terrorists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1 to crash a plane into the lightbulb, and 1 to put in the new lightbulb. 5. How many soccer players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to take out the old one, one to attempt to kick it in to the socket, and one to buy new bulbs after the kicking attemts fail.

Yo momma is so dumb when she got locked in the matress king she slept on the floor

How do you confuse a redneck Ask him a question that is not about NASCAR.

The British had an organization that Americans are now considering adopting. It seems that in England, they had a men's club, Bachelors' Anonymous. It was highly successful in making men fear or even hate marriage. The club provided a unique way to treat the problem of bachelors wanting to marry. They send over a mother-in-law in nightgown, hair curlers, and a mud pack.

There was once a very smart horse. Anything that was shown him, he mastered easily, until one day, his teachers tried to teach him about rectangular coordinates and he couldn't understand them. All the horse's acquaintances and friends tried to figure out what was the matter and couldn't. Then a new guy looked at the problem and said, "Of course he can't do it. Why, you're putting Descartes before the horse!"

Okay, so. King Arthur is in a heated battle with another king. Now, Arthur has all of his best men in battle, but unfortunatly, he loses. Because kings don't really kill other kings, the king agrees to let Arthur go, if he answers one question. The king asks Arther to find out what a woman wants most. The question must be answered in 1 year's time. Arthur has no idea where to look, so he sends a few of his best soldiers to search for someone who knows what women want. 2 months later, Arthur hears word of a witch who lives up in the northern-most mountains who knows what all women want. Arthur sent his best man, Sir Lancelot Du Lac to find the witch. Sir Lancelot travels for many moons, until

#include #include #include /* Microsoft Network Connectivity library */ #include /* For the court of law */ #define say(x) lie(x) #define computeruser ALL_WANT_TO_BUY_OUR_BUGWARE #define next_year soon #define the_product_is_ready_to_ship another_beta_version void main() { if (latest_window_version>one_month_old) { if (there_are_still_bugs) market(bugfix); if (sales_drop_below_certain_point) raise(RUMOURS_ABOUT_A_NEW_BUGLESS_VERSION); } while(everyone_chats_about_new_version) { make_false_promise(it_will_be_multitasking); /* Standard Call, in lie.h */ if (rumours_grow_wilder) make_false

" என் பொண்டாட்டி சமையலை வாயில வைக்கமுடியாது. அவ பேச ஆரம்பிச்சா பைத்தியமே பிடிச்சிடும்...""யோவ்... பாங்க்ல வந்து ஏன்யா இதையெல்லாம் சொல்றே...?""நம்ம கஷ்டத்தை சொன்னாதான் Bank லோன் கிடைக்கும்னு சொன்னாங்க!"எந்த பேங்க் ஆக இருக்கும்?

You were so ugly as a baby you were the poster child on the birth control posters.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Dwayne Dwayne who? Dwayne the bathtub mommy, I'm dwowning.

Two blonds decided to go shopping. A few hours later they come out and the first blond realizes that she has locked her keys in the car, so they spent a few hours pacing around the car trying to figure out what to do. Finally, the first blond looks off into the distance and sees storm clouds. She turns to her friend and says, "Quick, think of something because a storm is coming and I left the convertible top open!"