A blonde mother runs her own daycare business. She has two of her own kids and has about 15 kids in her daycare. One day the blonde takes the children to the park to play, when a brunette walks up and notices the blonde and her daycare kids. She goes to the blonde and asks her, "Are all these kids yours?" The blonde replies, "No, I have two of my own." The brunette proceeds to ask which two are the blonde's. The blonde laughs and says. "My kids go to the YMCA daycare center." The brunette asks in a puzzled voice, "Why are they there when you run your own daycare?" The blonde looks at her and says, "Because I can't afford what I charge."

I saw yo momma walkin' down the street the other day, with a fat pig under her arm. So, I went up to her and asked, ''Hey, where did you get that?'' and the PIG says ''I won her in a contest!''

Two bulls are in a locker room when one guy notices the other dude has a cork in his ass. He says, "How'd you get a cork in your ass?" The other bull says, "I was walking along the beach and I tripped over a lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a red man in a turban came oozing out. He said, 'I am Tonto, the Genie. I can grant you one wish.' And I said, 'No bullshit!'"

An Orthodox, a Conservative, and a Reform rabbi are each asked whether one is supposed to say a brokhe (blessing) over a lobster (non-kosher food, normally not eaten by religious Jews). The Orthodox rabbi doesn't know what a "lobster" is. The Conservative rabbi doesn't know what to say. The Reform rabbi says, "What's a brokhe?"

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he's "chicken".

Milk production at a dairy farm was low so the farmer wrote to the local university, asking help from academia. A multidisciplinary team of professors was assembled, headed by a theoretical physicist, and two weeks of intensive on-site investigation took place. The scholars then returned to the university, notebooks crammed with data, where the task of writing the report was left to the team leader. Shortly thereafter the farmer received the write-up, and opened it to read on the first line: "Consider a spherical cow in vacuum. . . ."

Sitting next to each other on a plane are a blond woman and a lawyer. To make the plane ride a bit more interesting, the lawyer suggests that he and the blond play a game. "We each take turns asking a question, and if you answer wrong you must give me $5 and if I answer wrong I give you $5." The blond woman says nothing. "Okay," says the man, "if I answer wrong, I have to give you $50, but if you answer wrong you only have to give me $5." "Alright," says the blond, "you go first." The man asks her "what is the distance from Earth to the nearest star?" the woman says nothing and hands $5 to the man. "What has five legs, is covered in pink and purple spots, and lives on a hill?" The lawye

Yo momma so old she met a T Rex in pre-school.

Yo mamma is so fat she walked into the GAP and filled it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the butcher

A horny old trapper named Rex Liked the risks of wild porcupine sex. By incredible luck His dick never got stuck, But his nuts were just pitiful wrecks.

Russian Roulette, by Hugo First