There were four blondes sitting on the bank of a river, each with a fishing pole intently concentrating on the task at hand. A Game Warden drove by and saw the four women fishing and decided to check for the proper fishing licenses and equipment. He approached the women and told them he needed to check for their fishing licenses and to his surprise, they all replied they did not have one. However, before the Warden could speak, one of the women spoke up and said, "Mr. Warden, sir, we are not fishing for you normal catch. We are environmentalist ridding the waters of garbage and other debris." "We are not fishing for fish." said one of the others. "We have poles, yes," another woman

A blonde filled her car with gas at a self-service gas station. After she had paid and driven away, she realized that she had left the gas cap on top of her car. She stopped and looked and, sure enough, it was lost. Well, she thought for a second and realized that other people must do the same thing from time to time, so maybe it was worth going back to look by the side of the road. She figured that even if she couldn't find her own gas cap, she might be able to find one someone else lost that would fit her car. She didn't have to search long when, sure enough, she found a gas cap. She tried it, and it went into place with a satisfying click. "Great," she thought, "I lost my gas cap, bu

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know. They can't get the dead one out.

You Know You're Addicted to Ebay When... 1.) Every time you go to the grocery store, you offer the cashier one cent more for each item in the cart of the person in front of you. 2.) To cut costs, FedEx and UPS are considering relocating their operations centers to your house. 3.) Sitting on the floor of your empty apartment, you stare at your fingers and wonder whether they'll sell better, individually or as a matched set. 4.) Your spouse is loving and caring, but you decided to file for divorce because you need the storage space. 5.) You're the reason they adopted the "No selling your children's vital organs" policy. 6.) You find yourself searching eBay auctions for milk, eggs and br

Q: What do you have when there are 100 rabbits standing in a row and they all start hopping backwards? A: Receding hare line.

Ever hear about the Polish athlete who won a gold medal? He had it bronzed.

Actual bumper sticker on a jeep (the writing was upside down). "If you can read this, flip me over!"

What kind of shoes do you wear to the beach? SANDals!

Yo momma's breath is so stank, that they consider it a weapon of mass destruction.

A bloke and his wife went to a family planning clinic. "We've been married for ten years and we've got no kids", said the husband. "And the next-door neighbors say it's because we're stupid." "Nonsense," smiled the doctor. "It's probably to do with your diet. Or it might be a question of timing. How many times a week do you do it?" "Do what?" asked the wife.

1. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. 2. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen. 3. Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom? 4. Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after. 5. Do I look like a people person? 6. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. 7. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. 8. Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose. 9. Bottomless pit of needs & wants. 10. I like cats, too. Let's exchange recipes. 11. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat. 12. Does your train of thought have a caboose? 13. Let me show you how the guards used to do it. 14

What did the sick pony say to its mother? I'm a little hoarse.