During the days of oppression and poverty of the Russian shtetls, one village had a rumour going around: a Christian girl was found murdered near their village. Fearing a pogrom, they gathered at the synagogue. Suddenly, the rabbi came running up, and cried, "Wonderful news! The murdered girl was Jewish!"

Battery Fucked Boodler's ass hard and soft yesterday! Maybe zat explains z growth in z population recently!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Q: What is more useful — newspapers or television? A: Newspapers, of course. You cannot wrap herring in a TV.

Part 1 One day, Doraemon was walking down street. He saw Hello Kitty approaching him. Excited by the encounter, he walked towards Hello Kitty and said, "Good morning". Sadly, Hello Kitty did not reply him. Why? Answer: Hello Kitty has no mouth. ------------------------------------ Part 2 Unhappy that she broke Doraemon's feelings, Hello Kitty decided to bring along a video recorder with the words "Good Morning" recorded by someone else. She saw Doraemon crossing the street, so she approached him and pressed the button: "Good morning". This time, Doraemon did not reply her. Why? Answer: Doraemon has no ears.

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee. The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'." The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'." The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal . . . When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'." The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'." Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well . . .?" She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breast, 2

Yo mommas so fat that when she got on the electric scales, it read one at a time please.

"CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it." - Jay Leno

Reporters interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

The new army recruit was given guard duty at 2 a.m. He did his best for a while, but at about 4 a.m. he went to sleep. He awakened to find the officer of the day standing before him. Remembering the heavy penalty for being asleep on guard duty, this smart young man kept his head bowed for another moment and looked upward and reverently said, "A-a-a-men!"

Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised.

What is a vampire's favorite holiday? Fangs-giving!

Say the word pig before each word. Pigs About Talking Idiot This Got I Long How Look Now say the word pig after each word Pigs About Talking Idiot This Got I Long How Look Next say the word pig before and after each word Pigs About Talking Idiot This Got I Long How Look Finally read the list of words from the bottom up. Pigs About Talking Idiot This Got I Long How Look Have a Great day :)