What is the fastest way to double your money? By folding it in half

A blonde was filling out an application form. She quickly filled in the columns for Name; Age; Address et c. When she came to the column Salary Expected, she put "Yes." At an air show, the blonde turned to her partner and said, "I wouldn't like to be up there in one of those!" Her partner replied, "I wouldn't like to be up there without one." A blond farmer had a donkey had refused to go under a bridge, and when she measured the donkey and the bridge, found that the donkey was 6 inches too tall to go under. She got a hammer and chisel, and was cutting two grooves for the donkey's ears when a passer-by suggested she dig a groove in the ground for the donkey's feet. "Don't be so daft," she s

Did you know that 61.8 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot?

Yo mama so tall she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon. Yo mama so tall she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.

A normally sweet Great Dane, Psil, has one quirk: she hates United Parcel Service drivers. While walking Psil one day, around the corner of a house came a UPS man. Struggling to keep hold of Psil, the owner, trying to ease the situation, said, "As you can see, he just loves UPS men." "Don't you feed him anything else?" he responded.

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years. The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump. The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms. Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs. The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. "Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor. To which the third patient answered, "

I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. I installed a skylight in my apartment.... The people who live above me are furious! All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats. The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store... With a pricing gun... She said, "Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store." In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, "Cut it out." All the plants in my house are dead -

A police detective was investigating a homicide. As he questioned the on-scene officer, he learned the body was that of a young woman. The body was found with a bowl over her head and a spoon stuck in her back. The on-scene officer asked what the detective thought had happened to the woman. The detective responded, "I think it's obvious. A cereal killer got her!"

What's black and white and makes a lot of noise? A zebra with a drum.

Do doughnut shops need security systems?

A man.

Yo momma's so fat, when she turns around another year has passed already!