My friend's husband always teases her about her lack of interest in household chores. One day he came home with a gag gift, a refrigerator magnet, that read: "Martha Stewart doesn't live here." The next day he came home to find the magnet holding up a slip of paper. The note read, "Neither does Bob Vila."

A boy asked to his girl friends: What does a gay cow eat? all of his friends failed to answer. Then he stood up, and with a gay-est falsetto voice he said: Haaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy!!!

Make sure you are in a public place with a lot of people around. Sniff the air a couple of times (make sure it is loud sniffs). Turn to you wife and say in a loud voice "Hey honey did you fart?!".

Why is a circle so hot???? Because it's 360 degrees!!!

Knock Knock! Who's there? A chu. A chu who? Bless you!

Two women were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said, "Seems like all Alfred and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset I've lost 20 pounds." "Why don't you just leave him then?" asked her friend. "Oh! Not yet." the first replied, "I'd like to lose at least another fifteen pounds first."

TRUE STORY When I was 16, I went camping with my family. My girlfriend, who was also 16, went along with her family as well. We went to the same campground together because her parents knew mine and we're friends. I thought that this was perfect because now I could be with my girlfriend all summer. One night, my girlfriend's parents were chatting with mine, so we sneaked away and went to have some "fun" at the cottage we were renting. So we got to the cottage but the door was locked so we ended up sneaking through a window. We got really busy that night, having lots of "fun" with each other. During the climax, we heard a noise and we thought our my parents had come back. Then the next thi

1. A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down, unless you're a diabetic!!!!! 2. People who live in glass houses should have sex in their basements!!!

Jesus walks into an inn puts 3 nails on the counter and asks, "Can you put me up for the night?"

What do you do if you find your old man staggering around the backyard? Shoot him again!!!

At the urging of his doctor, Bill moved to Texas. After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older man. "Say, is this really a healthy place?" "It sure is," the man replied. "When I first arrived here I couldn't say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn't have the strength to walk across a room and I had to be lifted out of bed." "That's wonderful!" said Bill. "How long have you been here?" "I was born here."

Confucius asks: "If a train station is where the train stops, and a bus station is where the bus stops, what is a work station?"