Popular Jokes
10. Lower corner of screen has the words "Etch-a-sketch" on it.
9. Its celebrity spokesman is that "Hey Vern!" guy.
8. In order to start it, you need some jumper cables and a friend's car.
7. Its slogan is "Pentium: redefining mathematics".
6. The "quick reference" manual is 120 pages long.
5. Whenever you turn it on, all the dogs in your neighborhood start howling.
4. The screen often displays the message, "Ain't it break time yet?"
3. The manual contains only one sentence: "Good Luck!"
2. The only chip inside is a Dorito.
1. You've decided that your computer is an excellent addition to your fabulous paperweight collection.
In most offices, the photocopier is out of order every now and then. One copy repairman had answered question after question for the employees. Finally one day, he just smiled and handed them this sheet.
The copier is out of order!
Yes, we have called the service man.
Yes, he will be in today.
No, we cannot fix it.
No, we do not know how long it will take.
No, we do not know what caused it.
No, we do not know who broke it.
Yes, we are keeping it.
No, we do not know what you are going to do now.
Thank You
Beaverton, OR- You must buy a $10 permit to be allowed to install a burglar alarm.
Portland, OR- People may not whistle underwater.
I have a spelling checker,
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue,
Miss steaks aye can knot see.
Eye ran this poem threw it.
Your sure real glad two no.
Its very polished in its weigh,
My checker tolled me sew.
A checker is a blessing.
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when aye rime.
Each frays comes posed up on my screen,
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The checker pours o'er every word,
To cheque sum spelling rule.
Bee fore a veiling checkers,
Hour spelling mite decline,
And if we're laks oar have a laps,
We wood bee maid too wine.
Butt now bee cause my spelling,
Is checked with such grate flare,
There are know faults with in
Okay, so. King Arthur is in a heated battle with another king. Now, Arthur has all of his best men in battle, but unfortunatly, he loses. Because kings don't really kill other kings, the king agrees to let Arthur go, if he answers one question. The king asks Arther to find out what a woman wants most. The question must be answered in 1 year's time. Arthur has no idea where to look, so he sends a few of his best soldiers to search for someone who knows what women want. 2 months later, Arthur hears word of a witch who lives up in the northern-most mountains who knows what all women want. Arthur sent his best man, Sir Lancelot Du Lac to find the witch. Sir Lancelot travels for many moons, until
A recent college graduate got hired by the human-development center of a large corporation to train the employees in proper dress code and etiquette.
One day as she was stepping onto the elevator, a man who was casually dressed in jeans and a golf shirt got on with her.
"Dressed a little casually today, aren't we?" she said in a scolding tone.
"That's one of the benefits of owning the company," the man replied with a grin.
Subject: Students' rights during examinations
Here is a true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. The following dialog ensued:
Proctor: I beg your pardon?
Student: Sir, I request that you bring me Cakes and Ale.
Proctor: Sorry, no.
Student: Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring me Cakes and Ale.
At this point, the student produced a copy of the four hundred year old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and pointed to the section which read (rough translation from the Latin):
The Fibonacci sequence 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21... starts with two 1's, and each term afterward is the sum of its two predecessors.
Which one of the ten digits is the last to appear in the units position of a number in the Fibonacci sequence?
Just write out their units digits, and mark the digits that appear for the first time.
(1), 1, (2), (3), (5), (8), 3, 1, (4), 5, (9), 4, 3, (7), (0), ...
Therefore, 6 is the last to appear.
A dozen, a gross, and a score
Plus three times the square root of four
Divided by seven
Plus five times eleven
Is nine squared and not a bit more.
A lecturing teacher noticed a lack of enthusiasm in her class. Few were paying attention so she decided to make an announcement, "The person to answer this next question gets to go home."
The students were all brought to attention and a buzz went over the room. Suddenly, a male student grabbed his bag nd threw it out the window. The entire class went quiet. The teacher said, "Who did that?!" with a sense of anger behind her voice.
"Me," the male student replied. "Now I can go home for answering your question." So he walked out of the classroom.
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