A schoolteacher wanted to show her students how dangerous drinking alcohol could be. She brought a jar of alcohol and an earthworm to class one day to demonstrate its effects. She dropped the worm into the alcohol and it died instantly. She then asked her students what this proved. One student raised his hand and said, "If you drink a lot of alcohol, you won't get worms."

Yo mama's so fat, her nickname is "Damn." Yo mama's so big, when she stands up the sun goes out. Yo mama's so dirty, the US Government uses her bath water for chemical weapons Yo mama' so hairy, when she goes to the circus the bearded lady protests against non-union workers. Yo mama's so hairy, she shaves with a weedwacker.

Jason showed his buddy the beautiful diamond ring he had bought his girlfriend for her birthday. "I thought she wanted a four-wheel-drive vehicle," ventured his friend. "She did," Jason said. "But where am I going to find a fake Jeep?"

Here's a lighted dynamite stick, please hold it until I get back.

What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand? Quattro Sinko.

Q) What does a blond say when she comes out of a lesbian bar? A) Wow, those people sure were friendly!

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

Yo momma is so fat she needs to lose weight.

Former First Lady Hillary Clinton and Attorney General Janet Reno were having one of those girl to girl talks. Hillary says to Janet, "You're lucky that you don't have to put up with men having sex with you. I have to put up with Bill, and there is no telling where he last had his pecker." Janet responded. "Just because I am considered ugly, doesn't mean I don't have to fight off unwelcome sexual advances." Hillary asks, "Well how do you deal with the problem?" Janet: "Whenever I feel that a guy is getting ready to make a pass at me, I muster all my might and squeeze out the loudest, nastiest, fart I can." Well, that night, Bill was already in bed with the lights out when Hillary headed

What do you get when a dinosuar stubs its toe? A: Stubasaurus

Your mama is so fat because your mama's mama passed down genes!

A man had just got to his hotel room with his newlywed wife on thier honeymoon. He said, "Let's screw." So they took off their clothes and got close and started kissing and the man said, "Wait, we don't have a condom, I'm not ready for kids yet." So the man called up the bellhop and asked him to bring up a condom. When the bellhop got their he said, "Here is your condom sir, would you like me to put it on your bill?"