And so at last the beast fell and the unbelievers rejoiced. But all was not lost, for from the ash rose a great bird. The bird gazed down upon the unbelievers and cast fire and thunder upon them. For the beast had been reborn with its strength renewed, and the followers of Mammon cowered in horror.

one day boodler is walking down the street minding his own (porn) business when suddenly a shady figure drags him into the alley. the huge man rapes poor boodler with his freakishly large 20 inch cock. boodler squeals like a pig. no one comes to help or look as the town is familiar with the sound. you see, boodler goes around town butt naked every sunday squealing like a pig. and today happens to be sunday. no one helps the poor bastard. boodler can take so much cock up his ass all at once. so he faints although the raping continues. next day morning, boodler finds himself in an alley. poor pig limps. his ass sore from the joy ride last night. now you can see him submitting jokes on wocka

An elderly couple (BATTERY AND BOODLER) was attending mass. About halfway through, BOODLER leans over and says to BATTERY, "I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?" BATTERY replied, "That was sexy. Put a new battery in your vibrator; then let's go home and fuck our brains out."

Do you know the Chinese nickname for the Dutch politician Geert Wilders? Answer: Dum Thing!

Yo Mama is so fat, she went to buy a water bed and they put a blanket over the Altantic Ocean.

Yo mama so fat she's got a real horse on her polo shirt.

At a southern university, students in the psychology program were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "what is the opposite of joy?" "Sadness," said the student. "And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma. "Elation," she said. "And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "what about the opposite of woe?" The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be'giddy up' ".

A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. "I want a tooth pulled, and I don't want any pain killers because I'm in a big hurry," the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we'll be on our way." The dentist was quite impressed. "You're certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?" The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."

"Hillary Clinton has finished her memoirs for publication next year, while Bill has barely finished the first chapter. Well, in all fairness, Fiction is a lot harder to write." - Jay Leno

Q: What do you call a non-churchgoer? A: A Seventh-Day Absentist

WIFE : " I wish I was a newspaper, so I'd be in your hands all day." HUSBAND : " I too wish that you were a newspaper, so I could have a new one everyday!"

If someone leads but no one follows... are they just out for a walk? Is it possible for someone to become addicted to therapy? And If so, how would you treat them? Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime? Why is it that normal people are the ones you don't know? Why is it that when our kids are naughty we ask "Do you want a spanking?" What are they going to say, "Yes please, may I have two?"... Why is it you get a penny for your thoughts but have to put in your two cents worth? May I refuse to inherit the earth? Practice makes perfect, but if nobody's perfect, why practice?