Y'know - just when I think I've finally figured out women, I wake up!

Why aren't there more Kenyans in the Olympics? All the rest couldn't outrun the slave traders!

what George W. bush thinks during his cabinet meetings. Hmmm...what does the w stand for? Wait... there isn't even a cabinet in here!

Jimmy: Hey, you momma is so fat, that she fills up Myspace Billy: Hey, yo momma IS my space, your space and everybody's space!

The doorbell rings. The woman goes to the door and shortly comes back startled and turns to her husband, seeking help: "Dieter! There's a man standing outside who only asks 'Tatü tata'" (Tatü tata is onomatopoeia for the sound a police car siren makes). Dieter goes to the door and comes back laughing. "It's my coworker from Saxony, asking "is do Dieta da?" (Ist der Dieter da?, "Is Dieter there?")

Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant? A: With a blue elephant gun.

Q: How do you keep an idiot busy? A: Have him read this.

We were married by a Reform rabbi in Long Island. A very Reform rabbi. A Nazi.

An old Jewish man is picked up by the Stalinist police and brought in for questioning: Where were you born?! St. Petersburg. Where do you live?! Leningrad. (menacingly) Where would you like to die?! St. Petersburg.

One old bolshevik says to another: "No my friend, we will not live long enough to see communism, but our children... poor children."

This is a insult I use on my brother's girlfriend if she starts annoying me too much. She has a very tiny bridge in her nose that is only noticeable if you look close enough. Its fun to mess with her about it cause she is very self conscious about it. That bridge on your nose is so big, it could fit Rosie O'Donald across the Grand Canyon!

why are black people getting stronger? tv's are getting bigger