Q. What do me and a mirror have in common? A. When we see your face we both crack up!

"Honk if you hate noise pollution!"

Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch a cold? A: No need for them to worry about blowing their brains out.

Why is it better to be killed by a shark than by a lawyer? Answer: The shark would be brief.

Yo Momma's so fat, when she walks down the street and hums, the kids all run after her, waving money and yelling, "Ice Cream truck! Ice Cream truck!"

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

Pappa : jy moet nou soet wees, ek gan jou tottie afkap. Seuntjie : kan ma afkap, want sussie sin is klaar af en omgedop en dit lyk BEFOK!!

Yo momma is so stupid, I told her Christmas was right around the corner - so she went looking for it.

Yo momma is so old, she was stood up by King Tut, before he became a mummy.

An application was for employment A program was a TV show A cursor used profanity And a keyboard was on a piano! Memory was something that you lost with age And a CD was a bank account And if you had a corrupted disk It would hurt when you found out! Compress was what you did to garbage Not something you did to a file And if you unzipped anything in public You'd be in jail for a while! Log on was adding wood to a fire A hard drive was a trip on the road A mouse pad was where a mouse lived And a backup happened to the commode! Cutting, you did with a pocket knife, Pasting, you did with glue. The Web was where a spider lived And a virus was the flu!

Ways To Annoy People In The Computer Lab Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking. Light candles in a circle around your terminal before starting. Play "Pong" for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab. Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge into the 3 1/2 disc drive, when it doesn't work, get the supervisor.

Yo momma's so fat, she sneezed and caused a hurricane!