1. And now, the taste test. 2. Are we supposed to heat that? 3. And now a little bit from this... 4. ... and please keep that test tube alone! 5. And now shake it a bit. 6. Why is there no label on this bottle? 7. In which glass was my mineral water? 8. The bunsen burner *is* out! 9. Why does that stuff burn with a green flame?!? 10. *H* stands for Nitrogen - and that does *not* burn... 11. Oh, now I have spilt something... 12. First the acid, then the water... 13. And now the detonating gas problem. 14. This is a completely safe experimental setup. 15. Where did I put my gloves? 16. Oh no, wrong beaker... 17. The fire alarm is just being tested. 18. Now you

What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi!

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First click the Community button. Then click the Public Fourum button. The first forum is for writing jokes. Discuss how to write funny jokes here.

This young fellow was about to be married and was asking his grandfather about sex. He asked how often you should have it. His grandfather told him, "When you first get married, you want it all the time, and maybe you'll do it several times a day. Later on, sex tapers off and you have it once a week or so. Then, as you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old,you are lucky to have it once a year, like maybe on your anniversary." The young fellow then asks his grandfather, "Well, how about you and Grandma now?" His grandfather replied,"Oh, we just have oral sex now." "What's oral sex?" the young fellow asked. "Well," Grandpa said, "she goes to bed in her bedr

A man was staying over at a farmer's house for the night. However, the farmer warned: "My daughter is sleeping in the room next door. I'm going to put a wall of eggs around her bed to make sure that you don't go near her, understand?" The man nodded weakly, for she saw the daughter and noticed she was very beautiful. That night, the man crept into the daughter's room, and sure enough, there was a wall of eggs surrounding her bed. Alas, the daughter's beauty was too much for the man, and he pushed through the wall of eggs and made love to her. Once they were finished, the man took out a mop and cleaned the mess up. He then used super glue to glue the eggs back together and restack them. He

What do you call the planters guy beating up fruit spread? Peanut battering jelly.

Charlie: "My wife has the worst memory ever." Tom: "She forgets everything, huh?" Charlie: "No, she REMEMBERS everything!"

Your mamma is soooo ugo... When you look in the mirror you die of fright, as you look just like her.

A little boy wrote this letter to his grandmother: Dear Grandmother, I'm sorry I forgot your birthday last week. It would serve me right if you forgot mine next Tuesday. With love, Mike

Yo momma so fat, when she entered a fat contest she won 1st, 2nd, and 3rd prizes.

"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." - Jeff Valdez "Managing senior programmers is like herding cats." - Dave Platt "There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." – Unknown "In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats." - English proverb "As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat." - Ellen Perry Berkeley "One cat just leads to another." - Ernest Hemmingway "Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later." - Mary Bly "People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life." - Faith Resnick "There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats." – Anonymous